Mark Jabo is a writer, comic and financial consultant who spends time
in Florida, New York and Maryland. Originally from Philadelphia, Mark
has lived and worked all over the world including Tokyo, London and
Fear of Flying Okay, Now ... Just Breathe
Some people are afraid of flying.
[pic1]Me? I'm terrified of landing. Because that's when the flight attendant makes the announcement that people are free to use their cell phones. If I hear one more person give an excruciatingly detailed description of their exit from the plane, I'm afraid I'm going to strangle so... continue reading
Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Did you think just because you bought all your food within a 75-foot radius of your house, wore clothes made out recycled water bottles and only went online when you could find a friend to share the same monitor that you’d be immune from the global warming police?
Think again, Planet Kil... continue reading
Suitable For Framing
He's not dead ... he's just pining for the fjords ...
In the pecking party to go green, everybody's getting in on the fun. Even funeral directors.
Next weekend's featured speaker at the annual meeting of the Funeral Consumers Alliance of Maine is Mark Harris, author of "Grave Matters: A Journey Thro... continue reading
Boxer James Toney to be Honored ... Or Not
Most of the news we get force-fed here in America tends to be focused on European and North American stories. There's all kinds of stuff going on in the rest of the world, but let's face it - do you really care what's going on in Uzbekistan?
Okay, there probably isn't anything going on in Uzbekistan … but my p... continue reading
Freedom of Choice
Please join me (and tens of Los Angelenos) in saluting the career of boxing great James "Lights Out" Toney.
"Oooh, it feels good to be me ..."
With a career record of 70-6-3, Toney has held world titles at middleweight, super-middleweight and cruiserweight, a division in which boxers are much better-dress... continue reading
Stop the Violence
As Americans we love to do everything to excess. We invented Las Vegas, the Hummer and DD breast implants. We invented fast food with the idea that you could grab a quick bite when you were pressed for time. But that wasn't enough. We had to super-size the hamburger and create a Whopper. And then, when that wasn't enou... continue reading
Binge and Splurge
There is a lot of concern these days about the increasing level of violence in our society. Some people blame aberrant behavior on video games. At the same time, many people would agree that breaking the cycle of violence starts in the home.So, parents: please stop letting your kids watch The Di... continue reading
You Gotta Have Faith
An ancient philosopher (either Plato or Courtney Love) once said, "Moderation is best." The ancient Greeks didn't have a word for "buzz kill" or Anna Nicole Smith, so that pronouncement was allowed to stand, unchallenged, for centuries.
By now, we're all familiar with the pitfalls of binge drinking such as a h... continue reading
One More Cup of Coffee Before I Go
"Well, I guess it would be nice . . ."
Wen-I Chang recently completed the Gaia Hotel and Spa, an environmentally friendly hotel located in California's Napa Valley.
How environmentally friendly is it?
Guests at the hotel won't find a Gideon's bible in their nightstand, but instead will be treat... continue reading
Might As Well Face It You're Addicted to . . . Everything!
From time to time, I've been known to criticize a few silly inventions in this space.
This week, we're going to change all that as we salute an awesome new invention: caffeinated soap.The person who invented this should get the Nobel prize for whatever it is that they give out Nobel prizes for when it comes to invent... continue reading
Baseball, Apple Pie and . . .
No less an authority than George Bush recently declared that the entire nation was "addicted" to oil. From a Republican viewpoint, you might excuse the President from engaging in a bit of political hyperbole. From a Democratic standpoint, the President gave you another shining example of the old adage, "It's better to ... continue reading
I have a new favorite baseball team.
Every few years, I switch team allegiances. Ex-girlfriends and Boston Red Sox fans will suggest this is symptomatic of my inability to sustain a long-term relationship. I will admit that it is not the behavior of your average baseball fan.
Typica... continue reading
Roses Are Red . . .
Greetings, loyal readers.
Occasionally, I have trouble picking a single topic to write about - maybe it's because there are so many crazy stories in the news, maybe it's my attention deficit disorder acting up or, quite possibly, it could be I'm just not getting enough alcohol in my diet.
... continue reading
KEEP ON ROCKIN'
Good news for all you freelance writers out there . . . Hallmark announced this week that they are expanding their greeting card line.
Not content to churn out trite sentiments and pithy rhymes for birthdays, deaths, wedding, bar mitzvahs, friendship, love, thinking of you, congratulations, good luck, sorry your dog d... continue reading
The New Global Epidemic
. . . because what else are you going to do?
As we edge closer to springtime (and a new concert season), it seems only fitting we take the time to look back on last year's creaky concert tours. Can you remember a time when more acts with one foot in the grave were touring?Last year The Who, Tom Petty, the Rolling Ston... continue reading
New Miracle Diet Helps Shed Unwanted Success
There's been a lot of talk about the obesity epidemic in the United States. As if somehow not being able to pass on your fourth Big Mac now qualifies as a major health problem.The next step in the discussion usually centers on "the costs" of this mass epidemic . . . or should that be epidemic of mass?The costs,... continue reading
Global Warming Tyranny
GUARANTEED RESULTS FROM NEW
Are you successful? Are you tired of life being just too damn easy? Do you have a career, power or money you'd like to get rid of . . . but just can't seem to find the time?
For years, famo... continue reading
Fly, Robin, Fly
Government officials calling for suppression of dissent is not new. We've seen it happen over and over again in totalitarian states and theocracies throughout the world.
Where is the outrage... continue reading
Used and Abused
I'm starting to hear people getting all excited about bird flu . . .again. Just so there's no misunderstanding, let me put in my request early this year: leave me alone. I will not be getting a flu shot this year . . . again. For like, the tenth straight year.
Quoth the raven: "Well, maybe just this once ... continue reading
It's Getting Hot in Here
If you got upset every time someone lied to you, it would be almost impossible to function in daily society. You wouldn't be able buy a car, vote or go out on a date.
Driving, voting and sex have a lot in common. They can get messy at times and it's always possible to have an accident; but, for the... continue reading
Golden Slumbers Fill Your Skies
It's getting harder and harder these days to tell the lunatics without a scorecard. Forget about sexy, it's time People Magazine came out with a 100 Wackiest People issue. At one time Michael Jackson might have been a lock to head this list, but the global warming crowd is making a strong bid to move to the forefront.
... continue reading
LONG STORY SHORT Writing Site Honors Author's Short Story
Some people just can't leave well enough alone. Or, as my first grade teacher used to say, "It only takes one bad apple to ruin things for everyone else."
So, you can imagine how upset I was to find out that some crackpot engineer had been tampering with one of the great inventions of the past 100 years.
I'm talking,... continue reading
Friends Should Not Let Friends See Friends With Money
New York-based author's story chosen as Story of the Month by Writer's Digest's Top 101 Writing Website
New York, NY (PRWEB) June 9, 2006 -- The board of editors at Long Story
Short e-zine chose Mark Jabo's story, "A Sweetheart Like You" as it's
Story of the Month in June.
"A Sweetheart Like You... continue reading
Akeelah and the Bee Makes Movie Honor Roll
Sometimes in the movies, less is more. It's a look Humphrey Bogart gives Ingrid Bergman when she walks into the bar in Casablanca; it's the pause that Denzel Washington makes before shaking Tom Hanks' hand in Philadelphia. We call that brilliant understatement.
Sometimes, however, less is just less. We call that Fri... continue reading
Hustle and Crawl
Akeelah and the Bee deserves an A-plus for presenting us a world where the best we have within us is encouraged to shine. If
you don't tear up at least once during this inspiring story, you should
have to stay after school and write on the blackboard five hundred
times: "I will develop a soul."
Sure, there are o... continue reading
Is there anything worse than a kid that's not cool? Of course not. Which is why you and your baby mama are going to be so excited about the new clothing line that's just been introduced called Pimpfants. The line features "Baby Beater" tank tops, a mini basketball uniform with "Jr. Pimp Squad" across the jersey a... continue reading
Birds, Bees and Allergies
It used to be that there was a whole lot of education that went into becoming a scientist. To be a scientist you actually had to study stuff. And not just easy stuff like "Who is the President of the United States?" (Hint: She was in Earth Girls Are Easy and A League of Their Own). As a scientist, you were expected t... continue reading
There are many things that you can tell people that you've developed that make you an interesting and sought after guest at parties. Things like "I've developed a cure for baldness" or, in the event that you are already bald, "I've developed a large piece of property." You can assume that "I've developed pictures of my... continue reading