"A sane person in an insane world would still be considered insane by everyone else." -Andrei Trostel.
Gideons, Thanks For The Assist with a Cyst! Leo Getz Was Right!!!
Is it wrong to want to smash a coffee mug into some woman's wrist if it is for her own good? Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself here. I should provide you with the back story first and then ask you the question. It all started a long time back when I went out and bought a pair of roller blades. I didn't know a damn thin... continue reading
Top Ten Companies You Should Avoid Due to Commercial Insanity
O.k. so first let me state that, YES I understand that we shouldn’t be eating fast food and that it isn’t good for you blah blah blah but come on now, I think we can all admit that sometimes you find yourself at McDonalds regardless after a long day. For instance when you only have a dollar in your pocket, or when you... continue reading
Guerilla Knitting? Knitta Please!
If there is one thing that gets my "What The Fuck Meter" pegged in the red it is the advertising world and the insanity that goes with it. I know I just wrote about this a couple weeks back but it isn't my fault that I keep getting provoked by more and more disturbing commercials. While it is true that most advertising... continue reading
Doomed To Search For Replacements!!!
Maybe you have seen it in the inner city streets or possibly in the more shady parts of town, but never dreamed this kind of element would come to your college campus. You probably thought that this kind of renegade gang type of behavior would never enter your world, but you can't hide any longer from the hard reality ... continue reading
Spell Chceker is Agiasnt Me!!!
Has anyone noticed that to like something these days is to instantly doom it to the realm of discontinued and thus endlessly search for an appropriate replacement, or is that just me? For instance, it never fails that whenever anyone in my family becomes a regular consumer of a specific product it instantly vanishes... continue reading
The End of Days or the Loss of Perspective
Being a dyslexic person I spell atrociously, so without spell check on programs I would probably be unintelligible to the world. However I have recently realized that over time spell check is slowly working against me and mocking me!!! When I type on a word processor or even chat in Gmail I find myself spending more ... continue reading
Land of the Lost
Our society has always been hyper vigilant about emergency preparedness, however is there a survival kit available for losing ones own sense of perspective? We are all told that if there is an emergency situation you are supposed to run right out and buy batteries, water, milk, bread and duct tape, I presume because ... continue reading
An Open Letter to All Survivors
Beyonce, Paris and Nicole,
on a routine exhibition,
wore the largest sunglasses ever known.
High and vapid, It struck their brain daft (insert screams here),
and plunged them down to make them look real slow.
To the Land of the Lost.
To the Land of the Lost.
To the Land of the Lost.
Is it just me or h... continue reading
Militant Simians Aren't Just Throwing Poo Anymore!!!
No I don't mean Cancer survivors, survivors of some natural disaster, or survivors of some traumatic incident, I mean all people who have been on or are going to be on the Reality T.V. show Survivor. There are a few things I need to get off my chest which have been a long time coming so listen up, because this article ... continue reading
I Smell a War, and the Scent of the Battlefield Never Smelled Better
Summer of 2006, I remember it as if it were three years ago. The world's eyes were trained on escalation in an age old Israeli/Lebanese conflict that would end in further pointless bloodshed. Ethiopia invaded Somalia in a move backed by the United States because the U.S. was gearing up for the release of Pirates of the... continue reading
Do You Want Me to Stab You Repeatedly?!?!?!
There is a war raging in your olfactory canals which I dare say you are completely unaware of or that it is even occurring around you on a daily basis. It occurs in your home, in the restaurants you frequent, and even in your car unbeknownst to you. Our senses are becoming a casualty and it is time to end this conflict... continue reading
La Diablo Mort, the Ultimate in Shaving Technology
O.k. yes, it is true I was never very proficient in talking with people in general but I was always able to at least fake it just a little bit. Lately, I find that my attempts to allay my social anxieties with humor and meaningless hypothetical questions are being snuffed out faster then an errant campfire that is bein... continue reading
I'm At MY Service!!!
Technology is growing so rapidly it is becoming increasingly difficult to imagine a world without half of the things that have been developed in the last ten years. Our technological gap used to be generational, yet lately it seems that gap has been reduced to the blink of an eye. In fact often people delay their techn... continue reading
The "Coffee Lid Sip Hole Plug Stopper Starbucks Lid" or (C.L.S.H.P.S.S.L. for short)
We have all been told through out our lives that doing volunteer work is extremely rewarding. I know that most people volunteer for small non-profit organizations, with hospitals, with the elderly, or perhaps doing things for the environment and if I wasn't already working many many hours a month doing my other volunte... continue reading
Is There Truth in Advertising or Does Their Advertising Never Ring True?
Recently I noticed that Starbucks discontinued almond syrup but kept a surreal flavor called “Classic” readily available. I complained about them ceasing to serve breakfast sandwiches but keeping their store well stocked with copies of Cranium and baskets of stuffed bears. What I didn’t realize was that Starbucks was o... continue reading
Gum, Apparently I’m Chewing It Wrong.
While watching movies, TV shows, and even commercials I find it hard to become completely engrossed like some people do. My mind is so fantastical that I mentally put myself in the same situation as the actors and it always goes very differently in my head.
I have a really hard time with commercials about pain medi... continue reading
In the Event of a Zombie Attack, Avoid All Home Depots
Advertisers are now mocking consumers mercilessly and preying on those who because of the current state of the economy are feeling dissatisfied with their reality. We have all been to a restaurant and ordered something that looks nothing like the picture of what it claims to be. At this point it has almost become a giv... continue reading
If there is ever a "Zombie Attack" I think the staging ground or headquarters will be at a Home Depot. For instance 10 years ago I could walk into a Home Depot without a clue of where anything is or even how to install it and there would be a handy knowledgeable staff member to not only point me in the right direction... continue reading