Folks, I spent five years as an employee in a video store. I am the VIDEO STORE GUY. This is why I know so much about direct-to-video rental titles. You can trust me when I tell you that something is, in fact, crap. I can tell you the good and I can tell you the bad. If you haven't seen a movie you'd like to know about, and it's been released in the last two years, just send me a mail at thevideostoreguy@columnist.com, and I'll let you know about it. Don't go trusting your weekends to the back of the box--read me and find out the best stuff, or at least the best stuff to avoid.

Note: The producer of this movie contacted The Cheers magazine and said that this movie is full of inaccuracies. We haven't confirmed it yet, but until that time, please be sure to consider the possibility. - The Cheers magazine
Conjureno stars at allDVD
Directed byMatt Busch
Written byMatt Busch
CastMatt... continue reading

Swamper****DVD
Directed byClint Berquist
Written byClint Berquist
CastJ.P. MooreBilly St. JohnJacqui OlivasJessica Thornton
unrated 93 mins
An amazing story of love, loss, and spooge cleaning comes through magnificently in "Swamper."
So what we have here is, basically, the story of a man with a lousy job, an occa... continue reading

Dead and Breakfast****DVDDirected byMatthew LeutwylerWritten byMatthew LeutwylerCastDiedrich BaderDavid CarradinePortia De RossiGina PhillipsR88 minsThe
zombie movie, ladies and gentlemen. There have been HORDES of them
coming out lately--everything from the truly lousy ones like "The
Wickeds" to the slam-bang actio... continue reading

Well, this one's a doozy, folks...the first advance look you're getting from me at a non-Asylum title that wasn't sent to me direct from the director.    And "Cup of my Blood" is definitely a wonder, I'll tell you that.   So what we have here is the story of Jack Fender, a bitter, sorrowful wreck of a p... continue reading

Insight of Evil**DVDDirected byNigel HartwellWritten byNigel HartwellCastAnthony Cortese Tiffany Edwardsen Chris SimisAnnie PantusaMike BruceThe
Asylum, working its way toward being the Full Moon of the new
millenium, brings us a murder mystery intermingled with vengeance from
beyond the grave in Insight of Evil.Fir... continue reading

War of the Worlds ****DVD Directed by David Michael LattWritten by David Michael Latt Carlos De Los Rios Cast C. Thomas Howell Andy Lauer Rhett Giles Tinarie Van Wyk-Loots Jake Busey R 93 mins This was a phenomenal move for Asylum Home Entertainment. See, it’s always a twitchy concept, taking an old story and trying to... continue reading

Dr. Moreau's House of Pain*DVDDirected byCharles BandWritten byEarl KentonCastPeter Donald Badalamenti II .... GallagherJohn Patrick Jordan .... Eric CarsonLorielle New .... AllianaSteve Quimby .... Johnny Qunrated72 minsLadies and gentlemen, it's time to be afraid. Be very afraid.Not
because of the scary conten... continue reading

Dead End***DVDDirected byJean-Baptiste AndreaFabrice CanepaWritten byJean-Baptiste AndreaFabrice CanepaCastRay Wise .... Frank HarringtonLin Shaye .... Laura HarringtonMick Cain .... Richard HarringtonAlexandra Holden .... Marion HarringtonBilly Asher .... Brad MillerAmber Smith .... Lady in WhiteKaren S. Gregan .... D... continue reading

Decoys (2004)DVD***Directed byMatthew HastingsWritten byMatthew HastingsTom BerryCastCorey Sevier .... Luke Stefanie von Pfetten .... Lilly Kim Poirier .... Constance Elias Toufexis .... Roger Meghan Ory .... Alex Enis Esmer .... Gibby Krista Morin .... Vikki Vickers Marc Trottier .... Bobby Johnson Carrie Cola... continue reading

Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove**Directed ByGary JonesWritten ByGary JonesJeff MillerCastRhett GilesTom NagelKristina KornThomas DowneyKim LittleR80 mins What do you get when you take undead pirates with familiar aspirations, a plot that seems vaguely familiar, more than enough blood and fake heads, and stripper... continue reading

Dead Above Ground**1/2DVDDirected byChuck BowmanWritten byStephen J. CannellCastCorbin Bernsen .... Mark MalloryStephen J. Cannell .... Mr. HaddonRobert Conrad .... Reed WilsonAdria Dawn .... ZaraTony Denman .... Bobby "Monster" MooleyAdam Frost .... Chip PalmerLauren German .... Darcy PetersReagan Gomez-Preston ... La... continue reading

Dark HeavenDVD**1/2Written byDouglas SchulzeDirected byDouglas SchulzeCastJon BennettChristina SheldonJeff BeorgerChristopher MillerLizzy RussellAlex SafiJohn CooriganMark C. SchwarzR90 minsI have to worry about a movie that starts off with a Bible quote, and yet can't correctly cite the source it used (there is no boo... continue reading

Dark HarvestDVD*Jeanie Cheek Jessica Dunphy R90 minsYou know, I always have to wonder about a movie with an opening screen that is really nothing more than the computer box art. I've seen some truly creative opening menus, Jeepers Creepers 2 foremost among them, but I always have to wonder about a movie that can't get ... continue reading

Corpses Are ForeverDVD**1/2Directed byJose PrendesWritten byJose PrendesCastJose Prendes .... Malcolm Grant/QuintRichard Lynch .... Gen. MortonLinnea Quigley .... Elli KrogerConrad Brooks .... Mr. FairbrassBill Perlach .... PreacherDebbie Rochon .... MargueriteBrinke Stevens .... Dr. ThesigerDon Calfa .... Jac... continue reading

Alien Abduction**1/2DVDDirected ByEric Forsberg Written ByEric ForsbergCastMegan Lee EthridgeGriff FeuersteinMelanie PorterPatrick ThomassieJilon GhaiHey everybody! How would you like to take a twisted, maniacal, disturbing roller coaster ride?Sure, of course you would. And if I told you this ride was as close as your... continue reading

Corn***DVDDirected byDave SilverWritten byDave SilverCastJena Malone .... Emily RasmussenDon Harvey .... Horace RasmussenPamela Gray .... Rachel HaddiePeter McRobbie .... Peder GlockJamie Harrold .... Frank HollowayTuck Milligan .... Muncio LoganWade Mylus .... Derek HogueLuke Silver .... Gus HaddiePG-1397 minsThey're ... continue reading

Close Your EyesDVD***Directed byNick WillingWritten byNick WillingWilliam BrookfieldCastGoran Visnjic .... Dr. Michael StrotherPaddy Considine .... Elliot SpruggsShirley Henderson .... Janet LoseyMiranda Otto .... Clara StrotherCorin Redgrave .... Chief Inspector ClementsClaire Rushbrook .... GraceFiona Shaw ...... continue reading

Lethal Eviction***DVDDirected By Written ByCastuncredited to prevent spoilersRemember, this week, Cassava Films (www.cassavafilms.com) is sponsoring me. "Serial Slayer" is on InDemand pay-per-view for the next month, so catch it, or pester your cable company. It's good stuff!And you've noticed no credits this week--tha... continue reading

The Last Horror Movie*DVDDirected byJulian RichardsWritten byJames HandelCastKevin Howarth .... Max Mark Stevenson .... The Assistant Antonia Beamish .... Petra Christabel Muir .... Sam Jonathan Coote .... John Rita Davies .... Grandma Joe Hurley .... Ben Jamie Langthorne .... Nico John Berlyne .... Phil Mandy... continue reading

Intermedio**DVDDirected ByAndy LauerWritten ByKraig X. WenmanCastEdward Furlong .... MalikSteve Railsback .... Old ManCerina Vincent .... GenAmber Benson .... BarbieCallard Harris .... WesPaul Cram .... ZeeAlejandro Samaniego .... JorgeDean Arevalo .... AlThis week, I'm brought to you by everybody out at www.Horrormovi... continue reading

Cheerleader Ninjas**DVDDirected byKevin CampbellWritten byKevin CampbellCastKira Reed .... Fantasy GirlRenee Deemer .... HeatherSunny Graves .... JaneTamara Lentz .... OpheliaJeff Nicholson .... The Evil Stephen Angela Brubaker .... AngelaT. Scott Becker .... ChubbyMatthew Mertz .... The Alarm GeekJarod Brubaker .... ... continue reading

Boa Vs. PythonDVD*Directed byDavid FloresWritten by Chase Parker Sam Wells Cast David Hewlett Jaime Bergman Kirk B.R. Woller Adam Kendrick Angel Boris Mariana Stanisheva Hari Anichkin Velizar Binev Asen Blatechki Ryan Spike Dauner Jeff RankHristo Shopov Niki Sotirov Nasko Srebrev Jonas Talkington R90 minsFrom ... continue reading

Shaun of the Dead****DVDDirected byEdgar WrightWritten byEdgar WrightSimon PeggCastSimon Pegg .... ShaunKate Ashfield .... LizNick Frost .... EdLucy Davis .... DianneDylan Moran .... DavidNicola Cunningham .... MaryPenelope Wilton .... BarbaraBill Nighy .... PhilipR99 minsRight now, there are half a dozen people scream... continue reading

Blood ReaperDVD*Directed byLory-Michael RinguetteWritten byDouglas HensleyLory-Michael RinguetteCastCharlene Amoia .... KristiJerri Badenhop .... KatiePeter Carlstrom .... VadimMichael Fuller .... The ReaperAugust Hanks .... JimBobby Mackey .... Randall DeweyBernard Mann ..... continue reading

Ghost of the Needle****DVDDirected byBrian Avenet-BradleyWritten byBrian Avenet-BradleyCastBrian Avenet-Bradley .... JacobCheri Christian .... AimeeGreg Thompson .... RichardLeigh Hill .... LauraKevin Bartolomucci .... TonyFrank Warlick .... FatherJack Harkleroad .... S... continue reading

Ghost Lake**1/2DVDDirected byJay WoelfelWritten byJay WoelfelCastRebecca Haster ..... Tatum AdairStan James .... Timothy PrindleSheriff Dobbs .... Gregory Lee KenyonDoctor Bloch .... Chuck FranklinYoung Fisherman / Son #2 on Boat .... Damian MaffeiOld Fisherman .... Dan MetcalfRuth Haster .... Linda BrownRichard Haster... continue reading

Bite Me!*DVDDirected byBrett PiperWritten byBrett PiperCastMisty Mundae .... CrystalCaitlin Ross .... AmberRob Monkiewicz .... Terence "Buzz" O'ReillyErika Smith .... TrixSylvianne Chebance .... GinaJohn Fedele .... Agent Myles McCarthyMichael R. Thomas .... Ralph VivinoJulian Wells ... continue reading

Angels' Crest***DVDDirected byJ. Michael CoutoWritten by J. Michael Couto Grant Holly CastChristopher Bauer .... Teddy Currie Graham .... Richard J. Michael Couto .... Gas Station AttendantR90 minBrand
new on the scene within the last couple years, recent distributor
Asylum Home Entertainment has been putting out ... continue reading

2LDKDVD****Directed byYukihiko TsutsumiWritten byYukihiko TsutsumiCastMaho Nonami .... LanaEiko Koike .... Nozomiunrated70 mins2LDK--this
is a truly efficient Japanese real estate listing. What a typical Tokyo
apartment hunter would discover from seeing that in print is an
apartment with two bedrooms,... continue reading

13 Seconds**DVDDirected byJeff ThomasWritten byJeff ThomasCastApril Cole .... CaraDaniel Rain .... GageKevin Kuras .... MacRobert Yensch .... ColinSarah Corbin .... TaliaSpencer Stevens .... MusatoStuart Stevens .... Teen KillerRen Smith .... Teen KillerJeffery L. Thomas .... Martin SoloRobert Miller .... SidetrackEsa ... continue reading

As the first calendar year of "Reel Advice From the Video Store
Guy," nears its inevitable end, I'm forced to reach one equally
inevitable conclusion: You guys must have a serious
tolerance for the rantings of former video store employees with
delusions of grandeur who've declared themselves arbiters of good taste
... continue reading

Wendigo**1/2DVDDirected byLarry FessendenWriting credits Larry Fessenden Patricia Clarkson .... Kim Jake Weber .... George Erik Per Sullivan .... Miles John Speredakos .... Otis Christopher Wynkoop .... Sheriff Tom Hale Lloyd Oxendine .... Elder Brian Delate .... Everett R 91 minhttp://www.thewendigo.com/Artisan... continue reading

Unseen EvilDVD*Directed byJay WoelfelWritten by Scott Spears CastRichard Hatch Tim Thomerson Cindi Braun Frank Ruotolo Jere Jon Cindy Pena Robbie Rist R90 minUnseen
Evil, or, 'The Biggest Bastardization of Native American Culture Since
Chief Lucky Strike,' provides us with not only a Yuma Indian creation
story, but ... continue reading

Slaughter StudiosDVD*Directed byBrian KatkinWriting credits Dan Acre John Huckert Nicolas Read .... Kevin Amy Shelton-White .... Madigan Tara Killian .... Portia Peter Stanovich .... Steve Anand Chulani .... Ollie Eva Frajko .... Trisha Matthew J. Roseman .... Gary Darren Reiher .... Chad Daniels Laura Otis ...... continue reading

Sightings: Heartland GhostDVD**1/2Directed byBrian Trenchard-SmithWriting credits Phil Penningroth Randy Birch .... J.T. Ginnis Beau Bridges .... Derek Richard Halliday .... Photographer Lori Ravensborg .... Jules Berens Nia Long .... Lou Thea Gill .... Pam Gabriel Olds .... Jeff Matthew Currie Holmes .... Nola... continue reading

Sing along, everybody! With all the thoughts it could be thinkin', it could be another Lincoln....If it only had a ploooooot...Scare Crow*DVDWritten byEmmanuel ItierDirected byEmmanuel ItierBill Cunningham CastTim Young .... Lester Dwervick Todd Rex .... The Scarecrow Tiffany Shepis .... Judy Patterson Jen Richey ..... continue reading

If we stuff some garlic in their mouths, then maybe it'll shut these vampires up.Reign In DarknessDVD**Written byDavid W. Allen Kel Dolen Directed byDavid W. Allen Kel Dolen CastKel Dolen .... Michael Dorn David W. Allen .... Alex Shaw David No .... Gage Chris Kerrison .... Lance Bates John Barresi .... Raphael Ra... continue reading

Miner's MassacreDVD*Directed by:John Carl BuechlerWriting credits: Antonio Olivas Karen Black ....  Aunt Nelly John Phillip Law ....  Sheriff Murphy Richard Lynch ....  Old Man Prichard Vernon Wells ....  Jeremiah Stone Martin Kove ....  Caleb Jeff Conaway ....  Reverend Sutter Brad H. Ard... continue reading

Fahrenheit 451**1/2DVDDirected byMichael MooreWritten byMichael MooreCastGeorge W. BushJohn AshcroftMichael MooreColin PowellDick Cheneyand a cast of thousands of Saudis, Bush cronies, assorted community groups, and other people.I
was asked to write a Reel Advice column on Michael Moore's Fahrenheit
9/11, and thus, h... continue reading

Fallen Angels is a misnomer, folks. They should've dubbed this one "Fallin' Asleep."Fallen AngelsDVD*cast: Esme Eliot .... Nell Fisher Michael Ironside .... Sheriff Ed Rooney Kai Wiesinger .... Tom Craven Dallas Campbell .... Brett Murray Elly Fairman .... Natalie Lawrence Emma Willis .... Laurie Campbell Melis... continue reading

It's Deadly Species, and the only thing deadly in it is the dull.Deadly SpeciesDVD*Directed byDaniel SpringenWriting credits Rory Penland Bill Suchy Pete Penuel .... Dr. Brinson Thomas Allison Adams .... Marta Thomas Brian Minyard .... Wilson Friels Britt George .... Laird Kleeger Jenny Coyle .... Jessica Samaral ... continue reading

ChanceVHS***Directed byAmber BensonWritten byAmber BensonCastAmber BensonJames MarstersChristine EstabrookAndrew HallettTressa Di FigliaRayder WoodsJeff RickettsNate BarlowShamus MurphyDavid FuryCathy DoePatrick BellerLara Boyd RhodesRupert ColeJaimie LinnGrant Langstonunrated75 minwww.chancemovie.comFirst off you did ... continue reading

Wishmaster: The Prophecy FulfilledDVD*1/2Directed byChris AngelWritten by Peter Atkins John Benjamin Martin CastJohn Novak .... Djinn Tara Spencer-Nairn .... Lisa Burnley Michael Trucco .... Steven Verdel Jason Thompson .... Sam Victor Webster .... Hunter John Benjamin Martin .... Douglas Hollister Kimberly Huie ... continue reading

The Japanese are a strange, strange people. Check out what they watch on TV.Flowers on the Razorwire: Episode One, Chance MeetingDVD*1/2Directed byHart D. FisherWritten byJoseph M. Monks Hart D. FisherCastWanda CurtisJoseph M. MonksMitsuho OhtaniEvil LopezFred D'AmicoJoey D'AmicoFrank DiModica JrHart D. FisherLokiJohn... continue reading

The obvious pun applies, folks...Vampires: Los Muertos does indeed suck.Vampires: Los MuertosDVD**Written/Directed byTommy Lee WallaceJon Bon Jovi .... Derek Bliss Cristin de la Fuente .... Father Rodrigo Natasha Wagner .... Zoey Arly Jover .... Una Darius McCrary .... Ray Collins Anil Pardo .... Lupe Javier Gra... continue reading

Session 9DVD****Directed byBrad AndersonWritten by Brad Anderson Stephen GevedonDavid Caruso .... Phil Stephen Gevedon .... Mike Paul Guilfoyle .... Bill Griggs Peter Mullan .... Gordon Fleming Brendan Sexton III .... Jeff Charles Broderick .... Security Guard Lonnie Farmer .... DoctorLarry Fessenden .... Crai... continue reading

Ghosts of EdendaleDVD****Written byStefan AvalosDirected byStefan AvalosCastPaula Ficara...RachelStephen Wastell...KevinKeith Tulton...JulianLouis Pepe...AlexPatrick Hasson...FredEthan Grant...AndrewNathan Lum...Ghost BoyR90 minwww.ghostsofedendale.comOld
Hollywood decides that it's not going out without a gunfight in... continue reading

Pinata Survival Islandzero starsDVDDirected byDavid HillenbrandScott HillenbrandWritten by David Hillenbrand Scott Hillenbrand Nicholas Brendon .... Kyle Jaime Pressly .... Tina Garrett Wang .... Paul Eugene Byrd .... Doug Kasey Fallo .... Monica Nate Richert .... Jake Lara Boyd Rhodes .... Lisa Ed Gale .... P... continue reading

Infested: Invasion of the Killer BugsDVD1/2Written / DirectedJosh LoganZach Galligan .... Warren Lisa Ann Hadley .... Ellen Daniel Jenkins .... Steven Amy Jo Johnson .... Jesse Nahanni Johnstone .... Mindy Robert Duncan McNeill .... Eric Jack Mulcahy .... Bob David Packer .... Elliot Camilla Overbye Roos .... ... continue reading

Nine LivesDVDR2002**1/2Cast:Amelia Warner Rosie Fellner Vivienne Harvey Paris Hilton Patrick Kennedy David Nicolle Ben Peyton James Schlesinger Lex Shrapnel Directed by:Andrew GreenWriting credits: Andrew Green Well, that's it, folks. I hope you all enjoyed civilization, because life as we know it has en... continue reading

DagonDVD*Directed byStuart GordonWritten by H.P. LovecraftDennis Paoli CastEzra Godden .... Paul Francisco Rabal .... Ezequiel Raquel Meroo .... Brbara Macarena Gmez .... Uxa Brendan Price .... Howard Birgit Bofarull .... Vicki Uxa Blanco .... Madre Ezequiel/Ezequiel's Mother Ferrn Lahoz .... Sacerdote/Priest J... continue reading

A double bogey that hits the bunker and bounces right in the water
hazard. One more golf metaphor and I'm calling the whole thing a
mulligan and going to bed.GreenskeeperRRating - *1/2Directed byKevin GreeneAdam JohnsonWriting credits Kevin Greene Alex Weir Allelon Ruggiero .... Allen Anderson John Rocker .... The ... continue reading

World War Two movie? Ghost story? Or something BETTER?BelowRating: ****DVDDirected by David TwohyWritten by Lucas Sussman, Darren Aronofsky

CastChuck EllsworthCrispin LayfieldHolt McCallany Bruce Greenwood Matt Davis Jonathan Hartman Dexter Fletcher Olivia Williams Scott FoleyNick Chinlund R98 Minwww.belowthemo... continue reading

Poor Richard's Almanac never covered THIS sort of thing....SlashRating **1/2R2002Directed by Neal Sundstrom
Adam Woolf .... Young Mac Danny Keogh .... Jethro Milan Murray .... Karen Guy Raphaely .... Ray Wild Coast Film Pty. LtdDVDThis
one starts off with a bang - a sickle goes across screen viewer's
perspective... continue reading

Red Water*2003Directed by Charles Robert CarnerLou Diamond Phillips .... Sanders Coolio .... Ice Rob Boltin .... Emery http://www.tbssuperstation.com/originalmovies/title/0,,7460,00.htmlRDVDGather around, kiddies...it's STORY TIME!Once
upon a time there was a poor desperate executive at New Line
Productions. Let's... continue reading

Sing along! "It's the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgeraaaa....", wait, no...it's the Antonia Graza. There's a difference! Really!Ghost ShipRating: **1/2DVDDirected by Steve BeckGabriel Byrne .... Captain Sean Murphy Julianna Margulies .... Maureen Epps Ron Eldard .... Dodge Desmond Harrington .... Jack Ferriman Isai... continue reading

Ever wanted to see Greenpeace play Ghostbuster? Ghost Rig can provide.Ghost RigDVD**Directed by Julian KeanWriting credits - Sally Charlton, Graeme Clapperton Heather Peace .... Iona Jaason Simmons .... Vincent Noel Fitzpatrick .... Crawford 90minR2003We
start off with this really choice visual of a helicopter in ... continue reading

If your travel agent books you in Weaver, it's time to get a new travel agent.DisappearanceDVD***1/2Written / Directed by Walter Klenhard
Cast
Harry Hamlin .... Jim Henley Susan Dey .... Patty Henley Jeremy Lelliott .... Matt Henley Basia A'Hern .... Kate Henley PG-1392 minYou
know that when you vacation with yo... continue reading

Demon SlayerDVD* Directed by: James Cotten Writing
credits:  James Cotten, Michael B. Druxman DVD

Michelle Acuna .... Alicia Howard Williams ... continue reading

Ever wonder what the German film industry thinks of the United States?
If exporting Flashback to us is any indication, they're off my
Christmas card list. Flashback DVD***
Directed by Bernd SchaarmannWriting credits: Bernd Schaarmann
Martin A... continue reading

DVDOne
thing I can say right off the bat for "Fear of the Dark": the opening
menu is positively harrowing. There are all kinds of scenes rolling in
the upper right hand corner of the menu, things appearing and
disappearing at random. I haven't seen a menu t... continue reading

Can you make a better vampire with a cell phone?  Dracula's Curse tries!Dracula's CurseDVDFrom Artisan Home Entertainment, who is rapidly becoming the most prolific provider of direct-to-video titles since Full Moon Entertainment's heyday of the early to mid-nineties, comes another title possibly related to Bram S... continue reading

The Bone SnatcherDVDFrom Overseas Entertainment, a relative unknown in the industry, comes a picture eerily reminiscent of 1950s horror."The
Bone Snatcher" comes with subtitles and a set of three trailers,
including its own, and two others: "Hollywood North" and "Between
Strangers." Neither is even vaguely related t... continue reading

Welcome back, folks...As promised, Freddy Vs. Jason, Part two-Thus, the drunken dorm room dream of every vaguely geeky college student since the eighties comes to pass:Freddy. Versus. Jason.And
what a brawl it is. Jason lifts Freddy and runs him through a wall.
Horizontally. Freddy slices through windows, siding, s... continue reading

Everyone's been waiting for this one for years.  And there are plenty of subtitles, in a variety of languages, along with a surfeit of extra features, so enjoy!As far back as I can remember, horror fans have been waiting for a battle between the two biggest franchises, and the debate has gone on endlessly.  J... continue reading