Similar to Hunter S. Thompson and Charles Bukowski
Baby Hitler Resides in Topeka, Kansas
Happy President's Day!
“For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue
from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile”-1 Peter 3:10
Some people say you can’t get too much of a good thing. On most things I tend
to agree with that philosophy. You can never get enough good college football,
cheap whiskey... continue reading
Coming Home for Christmas in a Body Bag
Land of the Blind the One-Eyed Man is King
President’s day came and went without much
fanfare this year. I didn’t even know it was President’s Day until I got home.
I was getting ready to walk in the door when I saw my new neighbor, Jim, watering
his lawn and it was the neighborly thing to do to go... continue reading
U.S. Executions reach 1000
"You are an asset! An expendable asset, and I used you to get the job
done, got it!"-Col. Dillion (Predator)
This Christmas, Ruth McGlothlin will prepare all of her usual holiday recipes
for the family. The house will be filled with the aroma of homemade candy,
fruitcake, turkey, baked ham, and candied yams. ... continue reading
Where was I?
I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.-Thomas Grasso (Executed in Oklahoma)
Kenneth Lee Boyd, come on down, you are the next contestant on the “Capital
Punishment Show”. Kenneth, do I have a surprise for you. You are the 1,000th
person to be executed in the U.S.
since... continue reading
Even World Leaders can have Ornithophobia
I heard some particularly disturbing news on the E! Network recently. Apparently Mary-Kate Olsen dropped out of Columbia University to devote more time to running her business. Perhaps you have heard of her. She is one part of the twins that came to fame before they could even speak in the 80’s s... continue reading
Adventures in Custodial Work
Forgive me if I seem a bit more hostile today than normal. I have been diagnosed with ornithophobia (intense fear of birds) because I am forced to deal with a hellish mutant strain of birds that have set up shop right outside my apartment window. These whores of Satan are awake and screaming 21 hours a day.... continue reading
Attack of the Insatiable 40-year-old women!
He brought down nearly $2000 a week from a variety of vice related activities: selling dope, pimping ho’s, and illegal street racing. He had won seven cars in various races from Asheville to Rocky Mount. The Lab Tech building is a giant brick hulk that sits on the Elon/Burlington border. Lab Tech is one o... continue reading
Have we gone too far in our quest for size
Did you hear
that sound this past Monday morning? I was watching SportsCenter
when I heard it. At around 7:30 a.m. I was getting ready for
another lovely day at the office when a sound reminiscent of 5 million
Tasmanian Devils having sex ascended over the horizon. It nearly
caused me to have a heart attack.
... continue reading
“Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are”-Anthelme Brilllat-Savarin
Indeed, how could this have happened? The man was only 23 years old and he was a professional athlete. Heat was ruled out because the temperature in Denver was only 65 degrees. It would be hard to blame e... continue reading