Reverend Chris is the dark alter ego of Chris Brown, comedy writer and bon vivant. He is a minister without morals, who spends his time with dubious lowlifes, and women of loose reputation. The Ask Reverend Chris column is full of the advice and wisdom of Reverend Chris - and this advice isn't just ordinary bad advice - it's advice so disastrous, so blasphemous, that it will bring down the wrath of God not just on you, but on the whole region you live in. Chris Brown, writer of the Ask Reverend Chris column, has no known ancestors or antecedents - he is believed to have been raised by apes. And not upstanding, high-class apes - apes from the wrong side of the tracks. He was found in a basket in front of a seedy bar on North Tryon Street in Charlotte in January of 1994, and has been pursuing a life of comedy and hedonism ever since. Reverend Chris is a compassionate individual, who cares deeply about the screwed-up personal lives of his readers. Please direct your pathetic requests for advice and help to askchrisb@aol.com. But no requests for money, please - Reverend Chris gets enough of them from his creditors and his babymamas.

Dear Reverend Chris,The other night I called a girl that
I've been thinking of asking out, and asked her what she was doing. She
said that she was sitting with a crossbow pistol, waiting for a
neighborhood dog that had been tearing up her trash to come into her
yard so she could shoot him, to "teach him a lesson." ... continue reading