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America’s Dirty Little Secrets! More on topic Suggest new related link   Code (6640A):   Url:   Save Username    Password   If you don't have an account yet, one will be created for you automatically with the username & password you have set.   Code (6642A):   Print Blog Comment Digg Slashdot it Username    Password   If you don't have an account yet, one will be created for you automatically with the username & password you have set. Post title     Code (6641A):   [hide] Article published on 1st January 1978 in ENTERTAINMENT

UK GOVERNMENT SUPPORTS WAR CRIMES ACCUSED FOR EU PRESIDENT It has been revealed that the Gordon Brown Government is endorsing former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair to become EU President. In a move that will be fiercely opposed in Europe, current UK Government ministers are lobbying behind the scenes on Blair's behalf.   Latest from The Cheers MUSIC NewNobility Genre: Indie New Nobility peace-rock band http://myspace.com/newnobility... Rad Wolf Genre: Other Hailing from Fort Worth Texas, Jacob Shelton makes music in ... JO&CO Genre: Acoustic Five diverse musicians who bring their own style to everythi... Shannon Corey Genre: Pop Mix together some Tori Amos, Fiona Apple and Ben Folds to ge... The Fireman's Daughter Genre: Acoustic The Fireman�s Daughter is a female Americana duo based out... Bruce Unger Genre: Alternative Bruce is singer/songwriter in a folk/country vein, reminisce... The Simple Pages Genre: Indie Above all else you must know about us is that we are three g... 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Dirty little secret #2 Professional wrestling and professional politics are not REAL sports! It turns out, in both, they’re faking it the whole time! Get used to it! Dirty little secret #3 On almost every street and highway, there is a posted speed limit. Only thirty seven people in our entire country believe in these limits. Just go as fast as you want to go. The long arm of Johnny Law will be watching. And The Channel 7 News helicopter! Dirty little secret #4 In America, every vote does not count the same. Ask the voters in Florida and Ohio! It turns out, that some votes are MORE EQUAL than other votes. The votes that count the most are those cast by our Supreme Court: Five to Four! Dirty little secret #5 Medicine makers sell us pills that HAVE TO make money! That’s why they exist. To make money! Medicine makers pay the folks that certify the pills, they pay the doctors that prescribe the pills, and they pay the elected officials to legislate the pills. That’s why they need the money. If we happen to get cured, it’s just a by-product! Dirty little secret #6 If you are a person of color, it will be more difficult for you. Our Constitution would be more accurate if it had said: “ All white men are created equal!” If you aren’t a white man, you will just have to work harder! Remember, what doesn’t destroy you, might maneuver you to work in our vast, underpaid service industry! Dirty little secret #7 We still don’t know who killed John F. Kennedy! We’re not really sure who shot his brother either. Our government has acted so strangely about these two murders, they cannot be trusted on this matter, ever again. We’ll just never know! This does include UFOs and Martin Luther King Jr. Dirty little secret #8 Our public schools are crap! Our schools should be magnificent places that prepare our kids to run the world. But, sadly, they are not! Students in Afghanistan have a higher grade point average than the students have in Louisiana and Alabama COMBINED! Dirty little secret #9 If you are a woman, you will be paid less than a man will for comparable work. Our society thinks the fact that a woman can give birth compensates for the differences. This is not true, but you wouldn’t believe what we make our ladies swallow here. Dirty little secret #10 Money is more important than anything else here! Connections, looks, and sex can only get you so far in life. But, if you get enough money, you can buy the previous three! Find a method to get some money, or suffer the consequences! Thomas Jefferson said, "Follow the truth, where ever it shall lead." I love America! I make these observations in the hope we will not repeat our mistakes. Let’s all try to make new mistakes, there’s so much more to learn there. As far as America’s worldwide pre-eminence goes, I can’t help being belligerent: I’ve got your “ONLY remaining super-power”…RIGHT HERE!! (Author’s note: Here’s a bonus “dirty little secret” …America has offered statehood to Estonia! Now, Tallinn might turn us down!) Tags: world   america   war   Family   Love   Iraq   Politics   bush   secrets    Save Username    Password   If you don't have an account yet, one will be created for you automatically with the username & password you have set.   Code (6642A):   Print Blog Comment Digg Slashdot it Latest stories in Entertainment 7 most ridiculous adult websites Befriend a Book The professor and jury duty blues Great American Dumb Ideas: Automatic Citizenship A Mother of a Holiday AmericanMason says on 2009-10-31 22:14:02 about Bullshit_Article Yeah_wow_this_is_the_stuff_fucking_assumed_about_me_and_my_country_about_other_countries.Also_stop_being_fucking_conspiracy_theorist_you_dumbasses.Ohh_and_read_the_damn_declaration.It_specifically_says_all_men_are_created_equally_lmao_you_fail Rosebud says on 2009-10-18 00:43:24 about America You don't no anything about America Chuck Norris says on 2009-10-16 10:26:28 about This Dirty Secret #11 - People use race as an excuse for everything, including not being able to get a job... abz says on 2009-09-11 11:50:34 about u YOU ARE THE MOST CHAT SHIT PEOPLE IN THE WORLD I JUST POSTED A COMMENT AGAINST YOU WHY ARE YOU HIDING IT ??????????????????????????????????????? abz says on 2009-09-11 11:47:50 about america you chat berrrr shit why dont you talk bout the political america "george bush" talk bout how u set up the twin tower building?????talk bout how much money america gave to the taliban along time ago????????talk about how much worth off weapons they gave to iraq to fight iran ???????????????? i aint no american but i know why are u goin to talk about the cars speeding more than they should you waste man Matty says on 2009-07-04 01:04:18 about The government! Really has anyone realized that the government isn't about the people anymore it's about the people who are running the government. They are slowly but surely taking away all are rights! Who says I have to wear a seat belt. Even though it could save my life. It can also kill you to! They ARE TAKING OUR RIGHTS AWAY! We can't chose what We want to do. You first have to see if it's alright with the government! I want my rights! And I want my children to have there rights! The government should be listening to us Not what the government Wants they can care less of what we want. They only want what applys to them! Matty says on 2009-07-04 01:03:30 about The government! Really has anyone realized that the government isn't about the people anymore it's about the people who are running the government. They are slowly but surely taking away all are rights! Who says I have to wear a seat belt. Even though it could save my life. It can also kill you to! They ARE TAKING OR RIGHTS AWAY! We can't chose what We want to do. You first have to see if it's alright with the government! I want my rights! And I want my children to have there rights! The government should be listening to us Not what the government Wants they can care less of what we want. They only want what applys to them! UHOH4U27 says on 2009-01-26 12:31:14 about YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON, YOU REMIND ME OF GEORGE BUSH!!!!!!!!!!! sky says on 2008-06-22 17:49:16 about sex secrets Listen, you know as well as i that america has plenty of secrets to go around, but what about all the sex secrets?I mean, everybody wants to learn more about what they can do to please their partners so why not just read a book about the whole thing? If you want to learn more about this just ask your dick or vagina, i mean you know that they dont lie when they want somthing! Forget all the books and articles about what you should do, trust your hormones and do what you think is right. And when yo get horny, just go for it!!! jp says on 2008-03-31 18:55:48 about mahas comment maha, the U.S. now has a growth rate of less than .9%, but India's is above 5%. Also, every year, over 1 million children are aborted in the U.S., so maybe we used to have a lot of kids, but now they are all dead! ReasoningThinker says on 2008-03-04 13:23:15 about America's dirty Secrets article Amusing. No secrets revealed, and about as accurate as a bent gun barrel, but amusing. America does have faults. No question about that. History is recorded more by legend than fact. (See Assume the Position with Mr. Wuhl on HBO.), and research the facts. America is no longer run by the people, of the people and for the people. Heaven is the only perfect place. ReasoningThinker says on 2008-03-04 13:23:15 about America's dirty Secrets article Amusing. No secrets revealed, and about as accurate as a bent gun barrel, but amusing. America does have faults. No question about that. History is recorded more by legend than fact. (See Assume the Position with Mr. Wuhl on HBO.), and research the facts. America is no longer run by the people, of the people and for the people. Heaven is the only perfect place. e man says on 2008-02-28 01:33:39 about usa rules i do not like them e man says on 2008-02-28 01:33:24 about usa rules i do not like them Allen says on 2007-01-19 11:59:42 about dirty secrets I agree with the last comment from Ricky. America has the most sophisticated news and event reporting in the world. Most do understand the dif between sacasm and news, but readers here at the cheers are probably looking more for entertainment than news, and this article was quite entertaining. And just why don't I get to sleep with Madonna or Paula Abdul? It's not fair, waaah! Ricky says on 2006-12-18 14:29:10 about secrets At what point do you think readers can discern between satire and news? Just because the writer uses sarcasm doesn't mean he is wrong about his topic. In fact, I think there's a lot to examine about the world's only remaining super power. Cheers to the writer! ernie says on 2006-03-14 18:54:02 about secrets When do we get to do something about this stuff? The next election is a long time from now. How about some real solutions? ernie says on 2006-03-14 18:53:56 about secrets When do we get to do something about this stuff? The next election is a long time from now. How about some real solutions? av joe says on 2006-03-03 18:56:38 about secrets I'm glad to read this kind of thing, but I don't think you should be smiling about it! Maynard G says on 2006-02-14 03:33:43 about secrets Is it a secret when you tell everybody about it? rwl says on 2006-01-13 12:28:50 about secrets More! America needs to see her faults, so its citizens can improve her! Maha says on 2005-11-04 04:15:49 about Good one But there are many more to come...like how Americans shamelessly give birth to so many children! While here in India, we go strictly by 'We two, Ours two" ! There is simply no birth control at all in such a great country...really amazing...I was earlier under the assumption that only Muslims go for polygamy and hence lot of kids but it is funny that even US goes that way... Amal says on 2005-09-29 13:57:38 about secrets America's dirty little secrets are really nothing compar5ed to to the dirty large secrets in my country, Syria. It's so much better here in The US than you realize! Be thankful for what you've got! Rob says on 2005-09-22 20:11:16 about secrets? The are secrets that are way worse than this. How about some real reporting? Jonesy says on 2005-09-21 02:16:28 about little? We can fix these things, but you can fix your disloyalty to our great country. Who do you think you are, Jane fonda? Sam says on 2005-09-20 00:06:16 about The Dirtiest Secret Rusty, how do you know this? Are you one of the lucky ones? If so, I'd like a couple of phone numbers, please! Rusty Woods says on 2005-08-26 10:40:57 about It does seem that alot of people do get to "sleep" with Paula Abdul, Straight up. Avg Lithuanian American says on 2005-08-24 19:53:38 about Excuse me, Belloq... Sorry, Belloq, your "Louisiana Public School System" education is showing. BTW, the correct spelling is Jon Stewart and I don't consider Mr. Stewart an expert in anything but comedy, and, yes, he's very good. If you don't think women are paid less you are most certainly living in the bayou or on another planet. Education IS what you make of it and we are so lucky in this country for the public school systems, of which I am also a product. However, I discovered early on that if you don't make the grades, you don't get to move on, so there is the value in grades. Finally, you may not have noticed that this is an ENTERTAINMENT page. This stuff is funny, not meant to change the world. Lighten up. Have some fun. You'll live longer. Linda says on 2005-08-24 02:26:06 about ?? These are the first ten, what are the nest ten? joesy says on 2005-08-23 13:35:50 about secrets Now that we know these dirty secrets, what do you pro[pose we do about them? How about some answers? L\'il sandy says on 2005-08-23 02:57:55 about 10 dirty Well. they were secrets to me! Tell Belloq he's wrong! Try live on my salary, you numb nuts! If business could change our energy needs from gas to wind, it would! Education is what you make of it, and here in USA, we don't do enough, face it! Belloq, you are no help. Belloq says on 2005-08-22 13:25:33 about secrets Well, there are a number of problems with the list. First, none of those accusations are secrets. People bitch about them all the time. Faults is probably a better word. Second, have you actually read the Supreme Court decision, or are you just going to trust John Stewert when he says that it was unjust? By the way, Stewert is one of the funniest guys alive. Third, if a business could cure cancer, don't you think they would go ahead and cure it so they could make TRILLIONS of dollars? Fourth, grade point average doesn't mean education. People buy their grades at Harvard. Sure, a lot if not most are smart and educated, but some are dumb as dirt. A grade is a number, are letter, education and intellegence are a little harder to measure. Fifth, women are not paid less. Again, I think you might be trusting the rants of TV people, and not doing the direct research like the Louisiana public school system taught me do. That stat was compiled by comparing all age groups, all careers, all levels of academic achievement... its nonsense. When you compare a man and women of like factors, the gap is statistically irrelevant. Sixth, whats wrong with liking money? I prefer people to like money and work and achieve and invent than to strap bombs to their chests and blow up people who butter the bottom of the toast. Hoped this helped. Average girl says on 2005-08-20 18:40:21 about secrets Yes, I would believe what America makes women swallow. That's why I live in Paris! anon. says on 2005-08-20 03:39:24 about I have always looked for a possibility to find information as quick as I can. Now there is the internet. And I really appreciate people like you who take their chance in such an excellent way to give an impression on certain topics. Thanks for having me here. Texas hold'em An average Estonian says on 2005-08-19 14:11:50 about Secrets? Let the USA sing the manifest destiny blues somewhere else! anon. says on 2005-07-15 16:39:47 about great page...im sure i'll come back...best regards Online Casinos danni says on 2005-07-02 16:51:11 about secrets Why doesn't everybody get to sleep with Paula and Madonna? It's not fair! bla bla bla says on 2005-06-28 04:01:11 about move If u don't like america vote!!! Skip says on 2005-06-21 10:19:37 about America Amusing and true. L\'il bobby says on 2005-06-18 16:27:29 about secrets Why do people get mad when an author makes them think? Thanks for making me think! Write moresoon! sloan says on 2005-06-18 13:01:48 about my review you suck move elsewhere ghettobeamer says on 2005-06-17 14:09:56 about jealous This country has what no other country has: Citizens with a real work ethic. This is what brings our country to such prosperity, and enough people have that work ethic in this country to help the less fortunate yanks. Miss USA says on 2005-06-17 13:14:04 about Dirty Little Secrets Well, they aren't secrets anymore! Great article, Lue! Keep 'em coming! max says on 2005-06-17 06:38:52 about great article! Post Comment    Your nickname    About what    Your comment   Are you human? Re-type this code - GYTDDDL   More articles Author profile   Next article I’m STILL Standing! (Standup comedy is a harsh mistress) SEARCHING FOR SOME LAUGHS! Dear Santa (Redoux) Lue's Little Joke Store! 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