Assume birthday costume. Venture forth, enter
sauna, sit tranquil, see thy bodily toxins emerge on the surface of thine
mortal coil, from the sauna take thine leave, lay back and gaze into the abyss,
and sink thyself into the brief sleep of a guiltless infant. Awaken and repeat
procedure.
This is but a condensed version of my sacred ritual, that of a
die-hard sauna purist, sentient mortal in search of all things inner. Since
1980 have I sought to elevate myself to “sauna master”, a crazed, eccentric
solitary nude buddha of sorts enclosed in a small wooden box made sweltering by
fire and stone. Sounds nuts, but should you slip into such quintessential
artistry, and experience what Finns call ‘Sampo’ (an untranslatable word, in
this case, ‘blissfully fantastic’ will do), you are hooked for life, and as you
gradually become a connoisseur, you find yourself foreverafter on a spiritual
quest for the sublime sauna experience.
On your holy mission, you become painfully aware that only great
ingenuity may bring you to your mental sauna shangrilah. Sheer patience, painstaking meticulousness,
fine fleeting nuances, the ying and yangs, taoist balance, stamina and endurance,
harmony, experience, experimentation, intuition and that je-ne-sais-quoi.
These are a random and grossly incomplete collection of essential elements that
pave your eternal path.
Dutch public sauna facilities can be put into three
categories: First, your plain city sauna; it is small yet intimate, and may not
necessarily have a swimming pool. Second, saunas in fitness clubs (such as
Splash off Leidseplein, Squash City off Haarlemmerstraat or the Garden Gym off
Waterlooplein in Amsterdam.) Third, the luxurious thermal spas, usually referred
to as “Beauty centers” in the Netherlands, often located in rural areas. Here in the Netherlands (as in most Slavic
and Germanic countries), public sauna facilities are usually coed (except in
Baltic and Nordic nations) where full nudity is obligatory.
In Amsterdam there are five ‘category 1’ saunas:
Deco Sauna, de Keizer sauna 124, Viking sauna, Da Costa and Sauna Fenomeen.
The five aforementioned all have their unique
particularities. Deco, as its name hints, is modeled on the Parisian
architecture of that period. It has a confident, monastic sophistication. De
Keizer is slightly more earthy, affording a rare and priviledged view of
canalside houses’ backyard gardens. Viking sauna has a very neighborly feel,
with a large, windowed sauna looking onto its pleasant terrace. Da Costa, oddly
characterized by the fact that its entrance hall is a public laundry facility,
is tiny (sitting in the sauna I had to bend my neck which resulted in a painful
week-long kink!) and friendly (a jolly worker gladly recounted anecdotes to me
of his great journey to South Africa; in the steam room a famous Dutch actress
engaged me in conversation.) Sauna Fenomeen, finally, is of the alternative new
age hippie vibe: small, groovy, vividly colorful with the distinction of being
non-smoking most days, a rare feat for smoke-saturated Netherlands.
Although there are fine sauna facilities in
Amsterdam and the Netherlands in general, none, in my opinion, will ever come
close to the heavenly pure saunas in Scandinavia, the Baltics saunas and saunas in Russia. On
recent trips to Denmark, Finland and Estonia, I marveled at the blissful
intensity of their saunas. The first essential ingredient is the majestic
nordic geography (maybe it’s those stronger magnetic fields); the second is the
sauna’s sheer spatial physics reflected in the design, fine quality of wood and
stones combined with consistent temperature (85 to 105 celsius according to
Finns, inventors of the sauna); the third is the naturally aromatic tree
branches whipped on the body (along with beer or water occasionally poured over
the rocks) inside the sauna. Last but not least, the quintessential Viking-like
energy of Europe’s far north naturally lends itself to enjoying a memorable
sauna. There is something magical about sitting amongst legendary silent,
buddha-like Finns (yes, I know Finns had nothing to do with Vikings, but still)
and then taking a dip in the lake by the midnight sun. Sorry my dear Dutchies,
but you can’t win them all.
Deco Sauna, Herengracht 115 (http://www.saunadeco.nl)
de Keizer sauna, Keizersgracht 124
Viking sauna (Indische Buurt district),
Halmaheirastraat 28
Da Costa (formerly Warme Waterstraal), Costakade
200 (Oud West district)
Sauna Fenomeen on Eerste Schinkelstraat 14, minutes walk
away from Vondelpark’s Amstelveenseweg gates (http://www.saunafenomeen.nl)
Saunas in the Netherlands and Flemish Belgium:
http://www.saunagids.nl (only in Dutch)
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