The Ten Most Irritating Things Men Do During Sex!

(Or trying to get it!)

In the interest of fair play, let’s all concede that men have tormented women since time began!  Why should half of our world’s population continue to be annoyed with no payback?  Let’s shine a light on all men’s faults…(here my lady says, “There’s no light big enough to shine on ALL men’s faults!”)

So, let’s examine a small portion of the problem. Here are the ten most irritating things men do during sex, or trying to get it:

10) Chesthairman wants to “go Dutch”, but still expects sex!

9) This would-be lover actually notches his bedpost…before!

8) This Boy Wonder doesn’t know that most women don’t appreciate cartoon underwear. (Slogans actually spoil her mood!)

7) Batman here wants to wear a costume and play his favorite Mariachi CD (Run! Run quickly!)

6) Tell him you are specific: “That’s no to request #2, # 6 & 7, and no, God no, no never ever no, no for request #9!”

5) This lothario, he’s moving way-way-way too fast! (“Put down your video camera, Big Fella…I’m not Paris Hilton!”)

4) This Romeo wants to talk restraints, but not birth control!  (He’ll use one…but not the other!)

3) This “gift to womanhood” insists that you talk to it!

2) IX-NAY on the ARZAN-TAY ELL-YAY!!!

And finally number one thing men do trying to get, or during sex:

1)   This moron wants his pets to watch! (Ladies, yours should be the ONLY p***y in the room!)

Well, these are only some of the irritating and annoying and petulant things men do, but since you’ve read this far, here are a few additions to our list:

a)   This idiot leaves immediately…or stays interminably…depending on your mood!

b)   This liar forgets to tell you that he’s bisexual! (Did he sleep with Adam before, or after you?”

c)    Some guys want an instant rating afterwards, on a scale of one to ten! And he’s always disappointed and disbelieving, when you don’t immediately answer, “You were a 1,000!”

d)    Oedipus here calls his mother right afterwards!

e)    This guy promises you a big bang, but only delivers a crab nebula!

Men know that we are irritating.  We’re sorry!  We’re trying to change!

Men, we have to kick up our game a notch!  To keep pace with the ever-present empowerment of today’s woman, we need to download some updates on our past behavior!  The wise take heed, the foolish continue on their merry and ignorant way!

Always remember to give your women better than they deserve! 

It’s a secret for both of you that has worked since time began! 

Double true!

Word up! 

Peace out!

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Tags: sex   humor   men   paris   

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HAHA says on 2011-01-23 08:46:38 about this HA... as written by a lesbian.

betterthanyou says on 2011-01-19 04:00:12 about post tell ya the truth i dont know why im even wasting my time with a post here..this girl is retarded and my bet is never been w/ a real man or any man please do yourself and everyone else and never write a blog again==catwomen hahaha i loe dumb ppl

jingle says on 2010-06-09 18:40:41 about about men i'm a female but i don't agree with this article...most men are good in bed and pleases their women becoz they want to hear complimentary words of how good they are! that's a man thing they want to be praise...that's what men are being made!

Hahaha Dumb says on 2010-05-23 13:22:14 about Men do this Wow your sooo retarded! You prob had guys like that cause of one, your ugly, bad personality, or just plain ditsy like your dumb article. If there is one thing that guys are turned off by you women is your lack of intelligence, and all your bullshit sobbing and drama!

scottya says on 2010-05-06 03:52:06 about what the hell does - IX-NAY on the ARZAN-TAY ELL-YA - mean?

Marin says on 2010-05-06 01:44:27 about pig men hi,Im a 18 year old male and i think that its wrong what males are doing in this world to there life's and wife's. it makes me wanna go back to adem and eve and BOOT! him in the teeth lol

idiot says on 2010-05-04 01:16:00 about calling oedipus implies he wANTS to fuck his mom after, cause oedipus killed his dad and fucked his mom, but without knowing. that was a retarted refference

Jonathan says on 2010-05-02 05:40:22 about The most annoying thing women do during sex ... is nothing.

judge says on 2010-05-01 16:08:51 about ...... Wow....I suspect the article writer is a virgin. Those points were really dumb and not even true. It was also written poorly. Ya, as If i want my dog in the room when having sex....what a joke! Now I'm irritated.

jj says on 2010-05-01 03:17:20 about haha men who do these things are friggin retards.

RUSerious? says on 2010-05-01 02:03:27 about men do are you serious? who the hell sleeps with people that do these things?

oh haii ^^ says on 2010-04-29 16:53:39 about men do Do ya think ya could possibly write the article, like, you know, WELL?? The points are okay but so badly written, it makes me want to cry. I don't refer to men as 'boy wonder' or 'batman' or whatever. AND SAYING STUFF LIKE IXNAY IN CAPITAL LETTERS DOESN'T MAKE YOU SOUND COOL, it makes you sound retarded. :) x

BigT says on 2010-04-29 11:26:39 about Bullshit!

joe says on 2010-04-29 10:28:48 about this crap article

S b says on 2010-04-28 18:59:25 about Style good article but your style of writing is very obnoxius Romeo here.. Oedipus here.. boy wonder here.. try changing it up a abit

cool says on 2009-06-24 19:59:31 about men do? i think that this guy who wrote this is stupid men do way worse things than that. Trust me i know

Emdee says on 2008-11-05 05:04:25 about Myself Very good

meme says on 2008-04-17 09:38:15 about ugle people why do they have ugly people

Sam says on 2007-06-15 00:50:27 about men do Ah Lue. You've got 'em guessing! Well done.

bloke says on 2007-06-14 18:26:30 about a hazlenut in every bite what a pile of crap this article is

Guy says on 2007-06-14 11:53:33 about men do? Did a woman write this article? I suspect the writer had help because no man is this sensitive, unless he's gay. I read his other article on 10 most iritating things women do during sex and it's hard to believe the same person wrote both. Who is this guy?

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