English Politeness and Manners

Article by
Journalist
Life in Britain

It's really true what people say about English politeness: it's everywhere. When squeezing past someone in a narrow aisle, people say 'sorry'. When getting off a bus, English passengers say 'thank you' rather than the driver. In Germany, people would never dream of doing these things – after all, squeezing past others is sometimes inevitable, and the bus driver is merely doing his job. I used to think the same way, without questioning it, until I started travelling to the British Isles and came to appreciate some more polite ways of interacting with people.

 

People thank each other everywhere in England, all the time. When people buy something in a shop, customer and retail assistant in most cases thank each other two times or more. In Germany, it would be exceptional to hear more than one thank you each in such a conversation. British students thank their lecturers when leaving the room. English employers thank their employees for doing their jobs, as opposed to Germans, who would normally think that paying their workers money is already enough of a thanks.

 

Another thing I observed during my stay was the way English people rarely criticise others. Even when I was working and mistakes were pointed out to me, my employers emphasised several times than none of their explanations were intended as criticism. It has been my impression that by avoiding criticism, English people are making an effort to make others feel comfortable. This also showed in other ways: British men still open doors for women, and British men are more likely to treat women for a meal than German men. However, I do need to point out here that this applies to English men a bit more than it would to Scottish men! Yes, the latter are a bit tight-fisted.

 

Talking about differences between the English and the Scottish, I have found that Scottish people are a lot more like Germans where politeness is concerned. They tend to be more direct, and Scottish men especially are known for sometimes being very grumpy. Scots dialect even has a special word for this: 'crabbit'. Those crabbit Scottish men can be a wee bit intense, but at least no one can blame them for pretending to be polite when they don't feel like it.

 

This brings me back to English people, and the other side of their politeness coin. One word that tends to spring to mind here is 'artificial'. As enjoyable as it is to interact with perpetually friendly people, it has often made me wonder what the English really think. In fact, this confused me throughout my stay in their country. As everyone seemed to like me, I found it hard to understand who was really my friend and who was just being polite. I also wonder whether this whole politeness thing is actually connected to the great English love for getting drunk: this might give them a legitimate excuse for being rude once in a while!

 

 



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J says on 2009-10-19 21:35:08 about This article.
Lets not worry too much about this article. Just ignore.










HotWoman says on 2009-10-14 21:46:57 about English culture
Being offended is English
many cultures laugh at
the English and their stupid
norms.

Let's face it other cultures
have many differences which
might offend your good
taste but hey your expectations about how
other people should speak
or act is your stupid
problem.

About being NICE, your
need to be nice belongs
to you. Sick Englishmen,
some of use just don't like
you and your moralizing.










HotWoman says on 2009-10-14 21:43:08 about English culture
Hey let's face it, the
English might be polite,
but they NO FUN and that
means DULL!

Life is about having FUN
and enjoying the self,
and the darn English are
superficial and a turn off!!! (with their constant
excuse me, and sorries
for blowing a fart.










Bob says on 2009-08-13 10:12:48 about stupidness
very stupid offensive and extreme generalisation b.t.w you said english people dont critiscise and f.y.i im english and i am critising so ha! Next time PLEASE dont generalise and for your extremly needed information the term is british not english. English besides from being a language is an ethnic group of the british isles the so called false english etiquitte that your foolish article outlines spans from south asian britons to african britons and native britians get your terminology right next time










monkey says on 2009-05-12 00:26:02 about generalisations
How can someone possibly talk about the trends of a nation without making generalisations? Would you prefer that every county, town or family be named and their tendency for politeness listed? That`s just ridiculous. I can only assume that if you take offense you are either a polite Scot or you`re one of these overly politically correct types who are causing most of the problems nowadays. Oh no, I made an assumption. Oh well. I`ll expect the police at my door any moment.

This article was brief but there is earnest effort here. If you don`t agree with what he said then there is no reason to shoot him down in such a manner. Be nice. The world is lacking so much of that nowadays... ha, by the way, I am English. It`s just common courtesy to thank a bus driver for taking you somewhere. I like to see what other people think of us. As for the drunkeness thing. I think it is more just habit now than escaping politeness. The people who drink now, only do so because their parents drank and that`s the only way people know how to behave and spend their time now. That and English people hate their jobs. It`s a good way to get past that.










A says on 2009-05-11 07:05:19 about
I don't think this has been researched well enough. Have you explored why English people are more polite? And why Germans appear less polite in comparison?

What are you basing this on?










Kris Bista says on 2009-05-01 10:32:05 about Who knows what?
You are not wrong for your opinion. I found the similar sides being in the US. I got American politiness similar to the British one! The most confusing part in thier polite world is "a fake smile". I can not figure out which is the real smile when Americans meet to each other and which one is the artificial! Even in the problem, I saw American giving a smile. It's hard to read them. Southern American, I got, perfer to say "hey" and Northern say "hi" and I never saw anyone saying "hello" in face-to-face conversation. I am the one who says every time 'hello' to these people.

In contrast, I found all Nepalse, wherever I meet them, say "namaste" and give a big smile. I got the level and degree of "namaste' the similiar across gender and across the nation.

Kris Bista
Michigan Tech University,
Michigan, USA
kkbista@mtu.edu










dutchdream says on 2009-04-25 04:55:37 about this story

Very unhelpful. We all know about Germans and their manners! Maybe you should have used another comparison here.










alanjon says on 2009-04-25 04:51:06 about this article

Your article is uninteresting and slighly offensive. Your information in relation to the people of Scotland is incorrect. You are obviously generalising here and I can assure you that the people of Scotland are one of the most friendliest and polite in the U.K. How can anyone truly compare manners and politeness with that of the Germans????
Your article is really a waste of space. Try again!










me says on 2009-04-15 13:06:07 about this story
BORING!!!









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