Kenneth Barnes
Highly opinionated, witty and outrageously sarcastic, Kenneth Barnes provides more than just social commentary. He's the guy who says a lot of what you're thinking but won't because you were brought up better.
Author articles
Barnes Storming: Who you calling a cry baby?
I have a lot of
hobbies, though none Iím actually good enough at to do in front of that
many people. I surf early in the morning before the bikini-clad honeys
show up and laugh at my lack of grace in the water. I lift weights
three times a week, but only when the gym is empty and no one can see
me struggle to benc... continue reading
Barnes Storming: Losing to the House in New Jersey
I wouldnít classify
myself a gambling man. Sure, Iíve placed a good-natured bet with
friends before, but to me those donít count. Wagering just how badly
Paris Hiltonís debut reggae CD is going to suck isnít exactly a game of
chance, is it? I mean, everyone can pretty much put money down for some
high level of exp... continue reading
Barnes Storming: Throwing the book at the prison system
What Iím about to say
may be the written equivalent of taking a bazooka and pointing it
directly at my own feet, but what the hell. You canít live life with
the middle of the fence planted firmly up your butt.



During my weekly tour
of the Internet for rant-worthy news, I hit on the Associated Press
article... continue reading
Barnes Storming: Of bosses and boobs
By now, it should be obvious that I take my job as an opinionated jerk very seriously. For the past few weeks, the editors at The Cheers
have given me ample space to partake in what my father calls ďa little
R and RĒ (Ranting and Raving). I am eternally grateful. Whether you
know it or not Ė whether anyone really ca... continue reading
Barnes Storming: Apocalypse now ... no ... wait ... NOW
The first Tuesday of
the month would have been a perfect day for the world to come to an
abrupt end. I wouldnít have complained one bit either. At least where I
live the weather was great for outside activities like watching the sky
open up to a fantastic fire and brimstone display, compliments of God.



Yes,... continue reading
Barnes Storming: Wild horses can't break Britney; poets ask why
Not one of my friends or family members watched the Preakness Stakes
horse race on television last month. Weíre not a horse racing kind of
people. Each of us has his or her own private reasons, but we all
firmly believe watching little men perched atop several hundred pounds
of animal requires a person to possess a... continue reading
Barnes Storming: You Gonna Finish that Sentence?


Iím
32 and still sleep with the lights on. This is a big problem. Itís
wrecked any chances of my being as smoothly seductive as James Bond or
as ruggedly attractive and manly as John Wayne. Iím sure no one since
Thomas Edison has collected this much debt over light bulbs either. And
as if that werenít enough, ... continue reading
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