A Dog's Life Of course, he won my wife over right away, but she’s a pushover for anything on four legs. You could bring a wild dingo into the house, turn it lose on a path of destruction, and her only comment would involve how cute he looked pissing on the drapes. But I’m a little more critical of animals that come to live with us; they have to meet certain standards. For one thing, I like them to be clean. God knows we have enough filth entering the house through conventional means, we certainly don’t need an open sewer with fur traipsing his contribution into every nook and cranny. Secondly, I prefer my ...continue reading
Is there anyone who doesn’t want to lead a long life on our planet earth? Only a madcap would say that he would love to die around 23 years of age. What about oth...
A city of heavy contrast The roads in all the Indian Metropolitan cities are flooded with people for at lest 20 hours in a day. So, Chennai which is my city of residence is no exception to this rule.
The sea-side magic When Shakespeare wrote that “The world loves a lover”, he must have had in mind a typical beach side panorama. I am not talking about the vast ocean outline you watch standing at the shore but at the people who throng the grand beach every evening.
Portrait of an Indian bride/bridegroom Some three or four hundred years back, a marriage in India was solemnized at a very early age. Possibly the girl was five and the boy seven or eight. The concerned mothers told their offspring at an age of understanding as to who she/had been married to.
On a fine summer morning, when the ant captured me On a fine summer morning..while I commuted through the train..I came to know that the crowd wasnt the only problem that I had to face.. a tiny insect sticking to my back was my major problem..read on
During one evening therapy group, the topic of serenity came up for discussion. The comments of some of the group members started me thinking. Perhaps this serenity could be teased into its component parts and described in more detail. In ot...
Adult Orphans Death is something that is inevitable in our lifetime. One day we will die, one day our siblings will die, our friends will die, our pets will die and our parents will die. We may or may not ever encounter these losses, but the certainty of death does not make the experience any easier.
Addictions Anonymous, 39: Problems with Relationships and Sponsors Relationship Problems
Unhappy relationships come up for discussion in many group therapy sessions. For some of us, all of life is controlled by relationships while, for others, relationships are few and relatively insignificant. Woe unto the relati...
Addictions Anonymous, 38: Problems with Emotional Pain and Service to Others There are clinics for treating physical pain all over the United States, but emotional distress, one of the chief obstacles in the path to a normal existence, is often neglected or treated inappropriately. Everyone, of course, experiences emotional pain at one time or another. Some problems are temporary and specific to a situation, some are chronic and permanent parts of a person’s life.
Love of the Written Word This week, I am going to tell you all about one of the things that I love most about England. It is the fact that you can get access to an abundance of books and other printed media . . . incredibly cheaply! There are libraries that you can join for free; there are charity shops where you can buy them for a pittance; and there are all those wonderful bookstores which celebrate the written word with the attention it actually deserves.
Addictions Anonymous, 37: Problems with Anger and Depression A person can be angry and never realize it, especially if he or she grew up surrounded by angry people and learned to feel resentment toward the adults in life. Anger can become an enduring personal quality and is a major feature in the profiles of many a...
One Language, Many Shapes and Sizes I thought it would be a good idea to start this column off with one of the most obvious parts of life in Britain: The English Language. The following contains some observations and snippets about the way in which British people use their language.
Used and Abused If Mark Twain were alive today, he might amend his famous quote to say, "There are lies, damn lies and marketing gimmicks." Of course, no one would listen because he'd be 172 years old and people would be absolutely freaked out by that.
While going through old notes from my therapy groups, I was reminded of many of our long and often difficult discussions of critical problems in abstinence and recovery. The next few chapters take up some of these problems, problems that can...
Up & About: Morning Rituals Discussing the basic activities of a morning day before starting off to work and starting off your day...
Addictions Anonymous 35: Harm Reduction Harm reduction is an ancient and natural plan for minimizing the unpleasant and harmful effects of dangerous behavior. Addictions certainly are dangerous behaviors, and some experts have championed the idea of a harm reduction strategy for addictive behav...
Addictions Anonymous 34: Therapists Of All Sorts In general, there are two kinds of therapist qualifications: (1) earned degrees and, (2) licenses and certifications. Some clinicians, of course, may have both.
Addictions Anonymous, 33: Pitfalls In Finding Treatment Problems confront addicts when they decide to seek mental health services. They can be serious problems, but they are not impossible. Here are a few of the big ones:
Addictions Anonymous, 32: When a Friend Needs Help In the days when I was working as a clinical psychologist in hospital programs where we treated addictive behavior, it was common to have members of Twelve Step groups bringing people in for help.
Addictions Anonymous, 31: Does Prohibition Work? Vulnerable Groups
Experience and research show that gamblers and other addicts entering treatment are not exactly like the general population on a number of important psychological dimensions. Rather, addicts appear to be drawn from one or another ...
Addictions Anonymous 30: The Way to Be, Part Two I remind the reader who may be studying these choices that I have not announced my own preference in terms of which of the choices, A or B, I think is most appropriate to a mature and normal way of thinking.
Addictions Anonymous 29: The Way to Be, Part One No one really teaches us the whole story on how to live in the world. We learn some of what works and some of what causes pain. We learn what people like and dislike about our behavior. Unfortunately, we don’t have teachers who teach us how to live comfortably in the world, how to develop and keep the everyday euphoria that is our right. If we knew what to do to reduce self-inflicted misery, we would probably want to learn it because we need something better than the School of Hard Knocks.
Chapter 28: Normal As The Gold Standard—Part Two In this chapter I finish a brief discussion of each of my proposed dimensions of noble character that I claim are important qualities of thought and behavior. They are both learnable and teachable.
Addictions Anonymous, 27: Normal As The Gold Standard—Part One If normal is to be the standard towards which we strive, exactly what qualities of personality will be important? What will we try to measure, learn, and teach to others? In this chapter and the next, I present a list of seventeen proposed character dimensions and offer a brief discussion of each.
Addictions Anonymous, 26: Searching For Normal Beyond finding problems and flaws in the thinking of others, a philosopher might go the next step and offer some better path to what we hold as a valuable goal.
Addictions Anonymous, 25: Normophobia Normophobia: I made that word up myself. At least I’ve never seen it used anywhere, but I could be wrong. Being wrong once in a while is normal and the best reason to look for and listen to critical feedback.
Addictions Anonymous, 24: More On Religion In Recovery The Steps, Traditions, and Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous have become important to millions of people throughout the world. In early chapters of this book, I looked at the philosophy that underlies the steps and traditions, a philosophy that is widely accepted and used in self-help groups. From the beginning, the steps stirred debate and controversy along with a remarkable number of good recovery stories.
UKRAINIAN “GREEN CORRIDOR” IS OVERLOADED Before travelling abroad, you should be equipped with as much information as possible. This means you should learn the customs regulations for passengers going across the border. Otherwise, your journey can turn into a big problem. Some Ukrainian experts consider that the establishment of Ukrainian regional customs, and liquidation of some previous customs, (started October 1 this year), is making customs procedures for passengers easier and more comfortable.
Addictions Anonymous, 23: Group Traditions And Management Not long after A.A. was founded in Ohio
in the 1930s, meetings began to experience problems with personalities
and procedures. Recovering alcoholics proved to be a tough group to
lead without firm rules. They all knew they needed a gr...
Gone In Smoke! A lot of the world population undergoes it. No one is spared. Right from Gauri Khan - SRK’s wife- to the local professor's wife. Some by choice, others willingly. Even you and me, mostly unwillingly undergo it. May be at the bus stop, public places or worse; with your friends and co-workers.
Addictions Anonymous, 22: Continuing The Growth The last three steps in the recovery program deal with personal growth, a renewed growth that is possible after some amount of clean and sober time. By now, if the reader has been following previous articles, the ideas behind steps ten, eleven and twelve should be rather obvious. Together, these three steps offer a plan for essential, continuing personality development. I will comment on each briefly in this chapter.
Addictions Anonymous, 21: Setting Things Right 8. Made a list of all persons we harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Addictions Anonymous, 20: Asking For Help 7. Humbly asked the help of others in the removal of our short comings and be resolved to work to remove these faults ourselves.
Addictions Anonymous, 18: Confession, Honesty And The Open Life Step 5. Admit to our Group, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
If loneliness
is your problem, confession may be a solution. There’s nothing like
holding secrets to shut you off from others. Leadin...
Blackie - the Dog Dan always dreamt of having his own pet. His parents always scorned away his pleadings for the same. It is soon going to be his birthday. Will Dan get his Ultimate Gift, the gift that he dreamt of?
The term higher
authority, in the original context, referred the God of whatever nature the
indivi...
Addictions Anonymous, 13: A Universal Secular Twelve Steps There are two important thoughts to keep in mind when we consider what have been called the Twelve Steps of Recovery. First, each step is really an important idea that can be incorporated into every aspect of life.
While
interviewing hundreds of addicted clients over the years it became obvious to
me that addictions are what mental health experts call developmental disorders. That is, they develop over time as the
result ...
Addictions Anonymous, 10: Dark Feelings Euphoria is a good word that today has a negative meaning; it is often used to describe the artificial high
or altered state of mind produced by an addictive trigger. It’s earlier
meaning was joy, excitement, enthusiasm, and exhilaration. Eu...
Risk Factor(s) + Attitude + Dark
Feelings + A Trigger = Vulnerability to Addiction
If someone
is careful in takin...
The Unexplored Region The silent surroundings where Daniel resides, is going to change. There is going to be a Change in his life. There is going to be a Change everywhere. Is this change for good? What is this Region that no one has Explored yet? Read on..
