The week is already almost over, so we decided that it might be about time to decide on next week's news. Just in case we don't have time to come up with anything sensible or senseless next week due to issues of drunkenness, idiocy, or simple laziness.

Malta to be become the first country to legalize same sex driving

Malta has long been known for the practice of drunk driving among all of its citizens and non-citizens alike. While it's not legal in Malta, yet, they are taking a step closer to making it happen. The government has just issued a statement that they will be the first country to legalize same-sex driving. What it actually means, it's anybody's guess, but I guess there's a small chance we'll be able to read about it next week.

Helpful tips on how to be an asshole

While the common understanding is that it's easy to be an asshole, recent studies say that it's actually a huge misconception. To make it easier for everyone, our own Harry Twohooter will be sharing some tips on how to make it easier to become a true asshole.

Finns invent water-proof vodka

Finnish people act like Finnish people yet again, by inventing a fully water-proof vodka. Expect more about it next week!

Study: 77% of people are actually blow-up dolls, 22% teddy bears

If there weren't any studies, we'd all be pretty ignorant and stupid. Fortunately, there are those interesting and weird studies to help us understand the world. This study will help us understand each other better.

Peaches to get equal rights to watermelon and grape

The movements for equal rights for everyone (and every thing) are gaining momentum all around the world. The latest news about it comes after the recent million-peach march.

Russia changes anthem to Yellow Submarine

Russians have always needed a strong leader - no matter what he or she (yeah, right) says or does, as long as the leader leaves a strong impression, most of the Russian support him. Recently the Russian people have started to understand their need not-to-care about what their leader does as well. And now that it's out there, Putin has decided to change the anthem to Yellow Submarine. As that's where most of the Russian voters are hiding anyhow.

Scientists find the missing link between Trump and black hole

Scientists have long tried to understand the inner workings of a black hole. After studying Donald Trump for couple of years now, they have started to understand black holes better as well.

More about all that already next week!