This article belongs to In Search of Laughs! column.

Four score and some days less, we Americans get to exercise our most cherished possession: The rights of self-determination: We get to vote! Forget those in this world that dont have this opportunity, or those that wont vote; they will both have to find another way to make themselves heard.

Those who SHOW UP make the decisions! Jefferson tells us that an informed populace makes the vital difference between having a clown or a genius to sit in The Oval Office. Which do you think we have now?

Which will we have next year?

But, HOW to make sense of all that information, THAT IS the question! I expect to hear any day now, The Puppetry Guild has asked VP Dick Cheney to do a BETTER JOB of HIDING THE STRINGS! or Democratic nominee John Kerry has denied any use of Botox! He claims he had his head stretched bigger with Photoshop 8! Which would you believe? If you heard on the news tomorrow, Ralph Nader is polling in double digits, yeah, both parties are giving him the finger! WOULD it make a real difference in how you are going to vote?

If not, then, what would? Jefferson also said, We must not be afraid of following the truth. We dont want to hear from some Marine, You cant handle the truth! Information is a commodity, and in our world today, most commodities are constantly being manipulated! How can you know if you are reacting to the truth, or knee jerking to some hack speechwriter who is having a field day with the facts!

There are numerous things that sound real enough, Florida VOTING Officials AGREE about the MESS last time, and PROMISE this election WILL BE FIXED! or "The American owned, Iraqi operated radio station in Falujah will not play any Barbara Streisand music, because, havent these people SUFFERED ENOUGH??" So, if you read in your local paper tomorrow, Iraq will be broken up into three parts; East Iraq, West Iraq, and The United Kingdom of Halliburton! or Dan Rather has another memo about UFOs! Would you believe it? As the NRA might say: Shoot from the hip! If you trust anything but your own gut feelings, you stand the chance of choosing poorly.

There ought to be a new commercial ad with the punchline: A VOTE is a terrible thing to WASTE! But, be on the watch for simple truths that ring true in your gut! And remember, there was a record number of RATTLESNAKES this year, so BE CAREFUL in the voting booth! Ill see you there!