This article belongs to In Search of Laughs! column.
Even most tele-marketers are more believeable than you!
You've squandered the confidence and faith many may have had in you! What happened? Could you be possessed by the ghost of tricky Dick Nixon? Your actions prove I just can't trust you and yours! Here's ten reasons why I've come to feel this way:
1) Bush Jr's hideous delay in responding on 911.
Just because Jr. was with kids, doesn't mean he had to act like one! I realize now, he probably couldn't have done anything effective, but we would have liked to see him try!
2) Bush Jr's ridiculously named " War on Terrorism "
Despite my understanding that ONLY our Congress can declare war, his handlers have convinced Bush Jr. to declare war on one isolated tactic of war. That's like General Custer declaring war on arrows! That's like General Westmoreland declaring war on punji sticks. That's like General Foods declaring war on flour.
3) Bush Jr. seems to lie.....or hide the truth too much!
We have the best military in the world who won the ground war in record time. Did anyone working for Jr. plan what to do afterwards? Is there really nine billion dollars of our tax money missing? Bush Jr said the Iraqis would welcome us, and that Iraqi oil would pay for it. Well, that didn't happen! Bush Jr. sanctioned torture! At that point, if
5) Federal response to Hurricane Katrina.
Anyone who watched CNN had a better understanding of events than the Presidential appointees. Maybe they were all out on their yachts or playing polo. The President and his executives weren't thinking about any victims that day, and that was clearly wrong, and perhaps even racist!
6) Bush Jr. maxed out Uncle Sam's credit cards.
This administration has moved the national debt above nine trillion dollars! While reaching record debt, a tax cut for the rich mugged the poor, unfairly robbing them of desparately needed minimal services. Compassionate conservative?...I don't think so! Hypocrite!
7) Border Security, and the lack there of:
If we can't stop drugs and people from being smuggled across the border, then we can't stop a terrorist with a dirty bomb from crossing either. If He doesn't do something, anything effective, it's a matter of time until we, the people, get to play HIDE the salami with a suitcase nuke!
8) Bush Jr's judgement calls are too spooky for me.
The nomination of his darling sycophant Harriet Miers to The Supreme Court was stranger than letting his Vice President carry a loaded shotgun! The ports deal with Dubai made Jr. look like a Duke lacrosse player caught with his digital camera out and his pants down.
9) Is Bush Jr's administration corrupt ?
When more of your aides, advisors, and staff have been indicted than the Dick Nixon years, then we've reached the tipping point! If you add some pictures of Bush Jr. with the alleged criminal lobbyist, Jack Abramoff, then we could be talking about articles of impeachment here! Oh goody! As John Dean of Watergate infamy says: " It's not the crime so much, as it's the cover-up that gets you!"
10) My own grab-bag of issues full of gut feelings:
Family ties to the Saudis-Energy and environmental policies-illegal wiretaps-Plame-gate-Secret prisons-rendering detainees-the old credibility gap revisited- Outsourcing jobs-Underfunding all of the VA Hospitals- wasting all of that worldwide goodwill and sympathy after the September 11th attacks...yada yada....
Using borrowed Tele-Tubbies logic from an well known astro-physicist, I will now prove our 43rd president, George W. Bush Jr, or Dubya IS EVIL!
We all agree a lot of time and money went into making Dubya. In the first line of the equation, this fact will be represented by:
DUBYA = TIME X MONEY
We all know the phrase; " Time equals money" The second line of the quation will read:
DUBYA = MONEY X MONEY
We all know that a variable times itself, as in: x times x will yeild it's square. As in X squared. So the third line of the equation will read:
DUBYA = MONEY²
Lastly, we all know that money is the root of all evil! ergo:
DUBYA = EVIL!
There you have it, as clear as I know how to put it. OK? I cannot trust this cowboy who's canoodling our citizens! I hope one day to write a story about the reasons I DO trust our president, but I'm not holding my breath.
You make your own mind up. Oh, I dunno, the way I figure it is:
Maybe if you throw enough truth on the wall,
Some of it will end up sticking!
I'm Lue Deck, The Comic in Red Shoes
and I approved this message.