This article belongs to In Search of Laughs! column.
(In the hoisted-on his-own-petard Dept:)
Is there better way to expose the truth about our leader than to use his own words to reveal what's behind the curtain at Boobs R Us? It's not The Wizard of Oz; it's George Bush, Jr. Here are some of our President's actual remarks: " There's a lot of noise, a lot of chatter in DC. "
Just a lot of nuts who're talking about a squirrel from
" I not only read her book…I sat next to her at dinner last night! "
Bush said he was talking about Doris
Kearns Goodwin, but I'm sure he was referring to J.K. Rowling, because Jr. wants to be a wizard when he grows up!
" I've got a lot to do! I have a full day tomorrow. "
Sure, if any of us scheduled Jr. then we'd keep him real busy with make-work stuff, if only to keep him away from the shadow government cogs and gears that confuses him daily! I tell you, this Bush boy is in…way over his head!
" Hey, Brownie…you're doing a great job! "
Not only was this wrong…bad wrong…stupid wrong…bad-stupid-wrong, wrongwrongwrong, but I still believe Junior knew it was untruthful as well! In a just world,
" Family values don't stop at the
Where do family values stop? In
" I believe in full disclosure of money into the political system. "
Sure, that's why Jr. was the first in our history to refuse federal election funds, so he'd not have to report certain contributions, or be limited to a reasonable campaign chest!
" I don't want to be Pundit-in-Chief!" I'm wise enough not to bash the media; I'm not going to complain about the media! "
Of course not! Using the Dick Nixon playbook, Jr. sends the Simon LaGree-like Dick Cheney to do all the " nattering nabobs of negativity " dirty work!
" I am who I am…because of my Dad! "
An old American slang saying is apropos here: No shit, Sherlock!
"Do I approve of what's happening in
But, so far…Junior hasn't found anybody yet, who can clean up after him!
" Our next president will inherit an
Obviously, Junior hasn't heard, or none of his handlers have bothered to tell him the Old Persian proverb: " When you're in a fight with someone, don't expect cookies to be handed out! " Turns out, my President is still looking for some cookies…from the same people he's trying so hard to kill!
I wonder if Laura is unhappy? I know all the families who lost sons and daughters in Junior's hastily conceived, brilliantly fought, very stupidly administered, debacle in Iraq are unhappy! Maybe it's time Junior should start imagining the trauma and tragedy they feel! He owes that at least, to our fallen warriors who followed their orders to the end! I hope he's as haunted as LBJ was!
" Six hundred thousand people died during Lincoln's presidency. It had to have been overwhelming for a man to put up with that grief. "
What kind of fly-by-night operation is he running here? How many will die during Junior's reign? We should all be sorry that we're part of what Bush has to put up with!
" FDR rallied the public."
One maneuver George W. Bush Jr. cannot do! Do we ever need a leader with this little gravitas again? Quoth the Raven: "NEVERMORE! " As the venerated Roman Senator Cicero once said: He, that is unconcerned with events that occurred before his birth, is forever a child! " My country needs a leader, not a child leader! I wish he knew the mistakes of the past. I wish he would own up to the mistakes he's made, but wishing ain't gonna make it so! That kind of thing could only happen when pigs fly!
I predict, one day, some perspective will, in fact, highlight the cleverest moment Dubya had, was when he got Dick Cheney as his Vice-President! Maybe Jr. knew he'd never be impeached with Dick and his shotgun, next in line! Wow, Dick Cheney, as President? That would have to be when pigs fly!
For some comfort, the rest of the world should learn, and re-learn one of the oldest adages in Texas politics:
If you don't like our politicians…
You should see the folks that elected them!
My name is Lue Deck,
I'm The Comic in Red Shoes
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