This article belongs to In Search of Laughs! column.

(Maybe, it's past time)


I hate war!  There I said it.  And there's nothing anyone can say that will change how I feel!  Now, with thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of deaths during President Bush's questionable decision to invade and occupy Iraq, I wonder if he feels enough, or any remorse, regret, or any discernable emotional pain. Don't you?


I'm mostly upset with George Bush Junior because I believe his enormous ego is writing bad checks that his skills cannot pay! Being oblivious is not a good excuse here.


History shows us Abe Lincoln anguished over his responsibilities and losses.  Some say Wilson had a heart attack over his.  You'd think any decent man might walk the floor at night, in some deep contemplation. (Maybe not so much with Teddy Roosevelt or Dicky Nixon.)   I've seen our current commander-in-grief say he sleeps well!  In a fair and just world, that shouldn't be so! 


Short of telling him there really is NO Easter bunny, or strangling SpongeBob Squarepants, I have no idea of what might hurt George Jr's feelings, or cause him to grow a conscience. Do you?


Maybe, if we tell him that his Dean of Admissions at Yale had a homosexual crush on him.


Maybe if we made a commercial featuring every player in Major League Baseball asking, in unison, if George Junior would become lifetime commissioner for the sport…then falling over in laughter.


Maybe, if we told him his little brother Jeb was the real father of Laura's twins, Barbara and Jenna!


But, probably not.


See I want my president to be human.  You know: fallible!  But, not this fallible!  And, seemingly, the man who holds the false god of power, and covets his neighbor's oil should feel the costs on a deeper level than an approval (or disapproval) percentage. That's why George W. Bush America's 43rd president deserves to be haunted!  May his sweet dreams of his vainglorious cheerleading days be shattered by visits from the dead and dying of those for which he's responsible!


May, forever more, he be visited by the spirits his mistakes caused to die! All of them. Every night.  There should be a heavy cost for such hubris and self-glorification, and George Jr. should pay it!


(I also believe anyone ordering death from his minions on others should have to take an Ambien and serrated pineapple enema daily!)


Remember, when during the Vietnam War, protestors would gather in front of The White House and try to grow a conscience in our President?  Recently released tapes prove pithy slogans may have made our then leader grieve significantly over some of his snap decisions. Maybe those who oppose Bush's War on Everybody could take some lessons from predecessor protestors. 


Remember, or have you seen films of the hippies chanting: "Hey, hey L-B-J…how many babies have you killed to-day?"


The anti-war movement of today needs a device or technique with that kind of proven bite, and effectiveness. Maybe an old spiritual song like "Will the circle be Unbroken!" rewritten for today's truths.  Maybe something like:


When I saw that hearse a comin'

For to carry our dead away…

Will your war, George, ever be over?

Lie by lie, George, lie by lie!


That's the way to destroy our country

With lies and lies, more lie and lies

Will your war, George, ever be over?

As we cry, George, as we cry!


There's a better leader waiting

In the wings, George, in the wings.

Will your war, George, ever be over?

Lie, by lie, Junior, Lie by lie!


Failing this effort, I'll try to emulate that famous hippie chant, with something like:





I'm open to any better ideas that accomplish this mission! Even I know I can't stop Bush's war on Iraq!  At the same time, it's fair to admit that I can't stop trying to stop Bush's war on Iraq! 


It has always been thus! C'EST la Guerre!  C'EST la anti-guerre!

Vive la peace!