The Three Little Liberals - a cautionary fable about political views
This article belongs to In Search of Laughs! column.
Once upon a time, there were
three little liberals. The time came for them to leave home, and go out and
experience the world of politics. Before they left, they went to visit the
oldest and wisest of all the liberals to seek his blessings. This oldest and
wisest of all the liberals was named Joe Lieberman. He gave this advice to the
three little liberals:
"Whatever you do, no matter
what it is, do it the very best you can, and help others, because that's the
way to get along in this mean old world!"
The first little liberal went
out and built his home on Social Security, because it was the obvious
thing to do. The next little liberal built his home on Medicare, because
it seemed worth the effort to make it stronger, and it, and he was! The third
little liberal went out and built his home on The American Constitution,
cuz he was quite anal-retentive, and wanted to be sure it was secure, and it,
and he, was!
One dark day, a big, bad
Neo-con who dearly loved to see and watch all the liberals suffer, came along
and saw the first little liberal in his new house made on Social Security. The
big, bad Neo-con said:
" Let me in, let me in
little liberal, and give me your cash for a private investment accounts, or
I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll legislate, and blow your little liberal
house right in! "
Somewhat haughtily, the first
little liberal said:
" Not by the hair of my
But, of course, the big, bad
Neo-con huffed, and he puffed, and he legislated, until the little house blew
right in! Just as his home blew right in, the little liberal ran out the back,
and then ran all the way to the second little liberal's home.
Then, the big, bad Neo-con
came to the next house, with the two liberals, who were still confident,
inside. The big, bad Neo-con, who seemed to smell like Karl Rove, said:
" Let me in, let me in
little liberals, or I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll legislate, and privatize
your medical care, until I'll blow your little liberal house right in! "
A wee bit less bravely, the
two little liberals chanted back in unison, to the big, bad Neo-con:
" Not by the hair of our
But, now mocking the two
helpless little liberals, the big, and now even badder Neo-con blew that house
right in, too! At the last moment, the two little liberals ran out the back
door, and sprinted all the way to the third little liberal's home.
At last the big, bad Neo-con;
with many, many more of his other bigger, and badder Neo-con bullies came to
the third little liberal's home. All the bully Neo-cons said:
" Let us in, let us in! We
are here to legislate your freedoms away! Let us in, or we'll huff, and we'll
puff, until we blow your house, and your way of life right in!"
The three little liberals,
feeling very safe inside the house that was built on The American Constitution,
started to jeer at all the big, bad Neo-cons and they said all together:
" Not by the power of our
So, the big, bad Neo-cons
huffed, and they puffed, and they legislated, but for all their sneaky efforts
in the shadows and darkness, just could not manage to blow the house built on
The American Constitution right in! Well, the big, bad Neo-cons were, by
nature, some sly beasts, so they climbed all over our lovely nation's capital
for a long, long time.
Then, one fine day, all the big,
bad Neo-cons got hoisted on their own petards, and fell in to a stew of their
KERSPLASH! It was hot and
boiling with leaks, scandals, and cronyism, and it doomed them all! And that
was the end of the liberals' troubles with the big, bad Neo-cons!
The next day, the little
liberals invited the wise, old liberal over to the last home standing. Joe
" You see, it is just as I
told you. The way to get along in the world is to help others, stop war, feed
the poor, and just do things as best as you can!"
Fortunately, our little liberals
learned that quite valuable lesson, just in the nick of time. And then, they
all lived quite happily ever after! Until the next election, of course.