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You Might be a Yankee If...

 article about You Might be a Yankee If...

This article belongs to In Search of Laughs! column.


(Separating Yankees from their cash is all we need 'em for.)


 


There've been hard feelings between Northerners and Southerners since 1861. Much of these sentiments have faded, but let's get real, not all of them. I know the other side of this issue has been covered by Master Foxworthy, but there's a lot more to it than meets the untrained eye at first glance.  Some certain folks in the South may still have a little un-acknowledged hostility towards some Northerners.


 


So...YOU might be a damn Yankee...


 


if you think southern folks talk funny! (We think Yankees talk funny too!)


 


if you don't know where the Mason-Dixon Line is...and or was!


 


if you think Re-construction is when you add another bedroom onto your winter home!


 


if you think that Peachtree is only one street!


 


YOU might be a Yankee......if you think "The Pearl of the South" and "The Mouth of the South" are genitalia references!


 


YOU might be a Yankee........if you twitch at all, when you hear the Y'all word!


 


YOU might be a Yankee.....


 


if you ever think that Harvard vs. Yale is a real football game! (Wusssies!)


 


if you've never ridden in a 10 passenger pick-up truck that's sporting a "ROLL TIDE!" bumper sticker!   (It's a college in Alabama!)


 


if you don't think toll roads are a travesty against God himself!


 


YOU might be a Yankee.....if you say pee-can pie, instead of pah-cahn pie!


 


YOU might be a Yankee.....


 


if you think "greens" are what one putts on!


 


if you've never dunked a hushpuppy or two! (Not the shoe!)


 


YOU might be a Yankee....if you think you really know what's in that gumbo you're eating right now!


 


YOU might be a Yankee.....if you've never said "(Bless his heart!")


 


YOU might be a Yankee.....if there's NO sweet in your tea! (Barbarians!)


 


YOU might be a Yankee.....if you can't whistle "Dixie!"


 


YOU might be a Yankee......


 


if the last time you went fishing, you didn't spit on your bait!


 


if you don't know what a swamp cooler is! (No, it's not a cocktail!)


 


YOU might be a Yankee......if you're still mad at that poor Jimmy Carter! (Bless his heart!)


 


YOU might be a Yankee.....


 


if you don't detest George Steinbrenner or Regis Philbin!


 


if you leave $12 million in your will to a dog...cat...or gol dang friggin' horse!


 


YOU might be a Yankee if you've got anything "Right Here!"


 


YOU might be a Yankee.....if you refer to Times Square! (C'mon, everybody knows times are round!)


 


YOU might be a Yankee.....if you don't own a belt buckle bigger than your wallet!


 


YOU might be a Yankee if you've never ever slept with your cousin!


 


YOU might be a Yankee....if you've watched "Deliverance!" more than once!


 


YOU might be a Yankee.....if you're not still scared of your Mom!


 


So, tell the honest truth, are you a Yankee...or can't Y'all tell? Bless your heart!


 



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