This article belongs to In Search of Laughs! column.

(Resistance is Futile!)


DNA scientists have pretty much proven humans first migrated out of Africa, and split in two basic groups. The first slowly  "lumbarred" to Euro-Asia, the second ambitious bunch headed for what would turn out to be the southern tip of India.  This well documented population shift would not, and could not be stopped by man, beast, nor various Ice Ages!  (As a jocular Mao might have said: "Now, that's people voting with their feet!")


History shows us that no system has ever stopped the lava-like stream of humanity, once people got moving. Rampaging carnivores, stupid borders, and an endless succession of evil rulers have all failed. The glaciers have all eventually receded, but we should realize, then and now, mankind will march on. (Even Joseph and Mary took their precious babe in arms...and hit the road!)


America is directly downhill from a Vesuvius of mankind's current ills! Get used to it. Our relative safety, shelter, and hope attract millions of the scattered and confused to our shores. Or, as our elder orators excitedly called them...the downtrodden!  Remember them? (As positive thinkers of a long ago time used to say, "Maybe we should go with the flow!")


Can this advancing mass exodus be stopped? Nope!  The British and the Arabs couldn't stop the Jewish influx. Can America (and 51% of its voters) reverse this invasion? I think not. Nobody has political will, and nobody wants to pay for the cruel deportation required. Should America waste precious time and treasure to slow what we cannot stop?  Of course not!  That's throwing good effort after bad.


Can we blame Mexico, and make our blame stick? You're kidding, right? Gee, gosh, maybe, if somewhere there was a good idea to make money (most of which will go to defraying costs) and generate some great public relations from what is inevitable, we could turn this mess around! (Surely, some patriotic citizen can come up with a profitable, and thereby satisfactory, solution. Hey, that's what we do best here.)


Would you step in front of a speeding Fed-Ex truck?  No! Would you stop bees as they migrate? No! Would you stand between Rosie O'Donnell, and her cheeseburger?  No! Would you try to stop Angelina Jolie from adopting more kids? Well, debate that one for yourselves.  My point here is: The flow of people looking for a better life will never, ever end...as long as here looks better than there! Genetics prove mankind is getting bigger, stronger, and smarter. And lots of them are coming to America. (Some angry citizens are already proclaiming: "They're he-rrre!") 


No force of nature or any group of men will be able to stop what is happening now. I figure the best those of us already here can do is start adapting now to avoid falling behind the curve later. (Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!  Habla Espanol, anyone?)


If our American government cannot, or will not, impede, redirect, and discourage these hopeful souls, then at least we can find some methods that will benefit us, as well as the newcomers. (How about an entrance exam?  The fees alone could foot the bill for everybody incoming to learn to speak passable English.)


All naive Americans better wise up and understand what's headed our way. Don't be mad. Don't feel cheated.  Many people from faraway lands are coming to America, right now, and in the very near future. This kind of thing is what once made The United States a great country. No matter how you feel about immigration, legal or not, just remember: Mankind is on the march again...and resistance is futile! 


PS: Do you hear the patter of little feet?


word up!

double true!

peace out!