This article belongs to In Search of Laughs! column.

(Our 43rd president proves himself to be The Fibber-in-Chief!)


Fool us once, shame on you!  Fool us twice, shame on us! Fool us five times, shame on all of us for still believing we can trust you. Oh, my President: Where forth art thou? A lie is a lie is a lie by any other name and you, sir, you daddy's boy, have told some real doozies! Now Playing in America: George W. Bush...as The FIBSTER!


Never, since the days of the ultimate falsifier, Richard M. Nixon, have so many of us expressed such extreme disgust for information from the supposed leader of the free world. It's not the credibility gap, it's the bold faced lies Junior Bush tells, that really piss us off!  It's no wonder some countries and populations around the world really don't trust America!


If someone I know lies to me, I learn not to trust them. That's how I've learned to relate to our current president. I wasn't all that quick to condemn him, but now, I know I wish I had been. Here are some of Bush Junior's lies and deceptions that have now made me think so very little of him:


#1. " My administration' ll behave more ethically than the previous one! "


With more White House aides arrested in Bush's administration than the last three added together, this was either teenage alpha boasting, or outright bullsh*t!  Add to that, some tasty pictures of the convicted lobbyist, Jack Abramoff and our President, just now surfacing.


#2. " As a Compassionate Conservative, I'm a Uniter...NOT a Divider! "


More red state extremists are at the throats of blue state yahoos now than at any time in America's history, excluding our own Civil War!  The only people Bush has united is the religious right and the war profiteers, and he knew it would be that way! More bullsh*t!


#3. " I will secure America's borders! "


Bush Jr. cannot even secure his own twin daughters from illegally buying beer, and/or stealing prescription pills, much less stop every Jaun, Jorge' or Abdulla from walking across the Mexican border, carrying in cocaine, biological weapons, or some suitcase nukes. Again, the worst part of this lie, is that he already knows it's a lie.


#4. " No one in The White House is involved with ousting a CIA agent!

         If someone here was involved, they will no longer work for me! "


Grand jury testimony and Scooter Libby's trial have revealed half of Junior's senior staff either knew about it, or were actively conspiring to punish the agent and her husband. Including our Vice President. It reminds me of Dick Nixon's White House plumbers unit.  ickk!


#5. " I am not into nation building! "


But Bush will shamefully spend a billion dollars of our money in Iraq every eight days. And a billion more in eight days after that, and a billion a week after that...for the foreseeable and regrettable future. This week, half of the Democrat senators say they regret voting for Junior's Iraq war, and Karl Rove only knows how many Republican  senators regret it too. Bush's half truths, deceptions, and mis-deeds complete his kharma.


#6. " Saddam has WMD's! "


The 24 hour newscycle has made it very clear that President Bush was going into Iraq, no matter what UN Weapons Inspector Hans Blixx or the outraged Scott Ritter said or did. What a curveball!


#7. " The Iraqis will pay for the war and their reconstruction! "


Not only will Iraq not pay for it, they can't pay for it! They can't pay for anything until they've all killed each other over turf. 


#8. " Mission Accomplished! "


Who's the President kidding now?  To me, the great irony here is that Dubya got hoisted on his on photo-op, while posing as a pilot!


#9. " Hey Brownie!  You're doin' a great job! "


If this wasn't a lie when he said it, the facts show it now as untrue. That FEMA jerk, Brownie, should be forced to work in the city doing repairs, until it's fixed!


#10. " We will re-build New Orleans! "


Was Bush's failure in words and in deeds here incompetence, or was it back-handed racism? After all this time, by far not enough has been done. Dubya has effectively ethnically cleansed this fair town for generations.


For me, the lie that broke the camel's back was when President Bush said those that oppose his war in Iraq were less than patriotic. The USA was built on protest, and George W. Bush will never change that.


George Bush Jr. also does impressions. Have you seen his impression of, of all people, General Alexander Haig?  President Bush does an excellent Haig (shades of Nixon) every time anyone asks him any kind of question: " I'm in charge!  I'm in charge!  I'm the decider! Don't worry, I'm in charge!"


Yeah, Dubya is in charge. Just like when General Custer was in charge. And just like when the Captain of the Titannic was in charge. As the modern day equivalent of a mule-skinner in the 7th Calvary, or a steerage passenger on an ocean liner in Bush's mis-guided crusade, only the chance to reach out to others in the same nutty dilemma keeps me from feeling like a prisoner.


OK, I do admit that I expect politicians to lie.  And I understand Bush is from Texas, where some kinds of lying is greatly prized, but...let's all get real for a second. To paraphrase that brave man in the famous Joe McCarthy hearings:  " You, Mr. Bush, at long last, have you no sense of decency? "


Or, maybe President George W. Bush could check himself in to re-hab for prevarification and lying!  Then when Junior came out, everything would be OK! Or, would it? 


I'm Lue Deck, The Comic in Red Shoes, and I approved this message.