This article belongs to In Search of Laughs! column.

The Grand Old Party and rabid Rush Limbaugh fans
still have a surprise up their sleeves. Unlike their ill-fated attempts to get
Ronnie Reagan on Mount Rushmore, this secret
mission amounts to an unexpected foray into a previously unexplored area: ART!

Intended to burnish his legacy into The United States
institutional memory, this moon-shot type project is being funded for our
current president, upon his imminent retirement, by religious admirers and
compassionate conservatives.

This work of political art will be a ninety foot wide
mural, executed in fresco, to cover over the interior second dome of The
Capital in Washington, D.C. (where currently exists a painting of some founding
father or another.) Projected artist is to be a authentic decendant of Brumidi,
the original sub-contractor.

The word: apotheosis in the title means
literally the raising of this person to the rank of a god.

This incredible display of asssention will depict America's 43rd
president rising to Heaven in glory. Bush Jr. will be flanked by two female
figures representing the Right to Life, and the Estate Tax. An oil derrick
pumps at his feet, with thirteen Republicans, representing the original
neo-cons, holding a banner that reads: "In loco Parentis " surrounded
by six groups of figures lining the perimeter in a 180 degree arc to the far

The six groups below Bush Jr, begining counter
clockwise are:

Tax Cuts for the Rich are portrayed as
Berkshire-Hathaway teaching Wall Street-ers to avoid over-exhuberence, and that
Fannie Mae too.

Halliburton honors follow, as Jack Abramoff
hands off a big bag of money to Duke Cunningham, Scooter Libby, and Tom

Next: Pre-emptive War, with an totally
undersized military and our elusive and ever listening NSA, attempting to
thwart all foes, foreign or domestic.

Then, Environmental Neglect is shown with
Smokey The Bear holding his badly burned feet, and ANWAR with some dead penguins
and caribou.

Also, Industry is featured by portraits of
private security guards, armed with tasers and tear gas, producing cruise
missles and MRE's around the clock.

Lastly, Lady Liberty is viewed as the Goddess of
royally seated in a free stadium luxury box, next to Uncle Sam,
who is wearing a red, white, and blue tuxedo, handcuffs and a muzzle, which
underlines the loss of civil rights, and rendering of detainees to third
countries for torture.

This mosaic of metaphors, comissioned by The NRA, is
to be representative of The Bush Doctrine and its generational and worldwide
ramifications, if any.

A rich, imaginative fresco, this glorification
personified is planned to be unveiled at the innauguration of The Republican
Party's successor in 2008. (Certain people named Kennedy, Clinton, and Dean are
not invited)

Many think this is an appropriate way to honor the
efforts of our beleagured and verbally challenged leader. Won't you help?

Donations for The Apotheosis of George Bush Jr accepted
by The West Coast Chapter of The National Society of the Terminally Gullible,
located in friendly Crawford,
Texas USA
...Heads up, Y'all!