Poor Lue's Almanack April '06 (The first part's true, the last part's Lue)

Ah, it's the first days of spring, that's when a
young immigrant's thoughts often turn to finding a JOB, or RIOTING!

30% of Americans think immigration is not a real
problem.

But, that's only if you ask them the question in
Spanish!

Looks like immigrant hopes for the Roadmap to
Amnesty are fading. It's been folded up and discarded back in the
glovebox, right next to the Roadmap for Peace, and the Roadmap to Heath Care!

"Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled
masses yearning..."

Really, the sign on America's front door does say: VACANCY!

Gay and lesbian couples with kids were invited to
The White House Easter Egg Roll for the first time. But to get in, some the
couples were forced to redecorate the residential wing. Queer Eye Meets The Crawford Guy!

Security shuts down Senate Office
Building when sensors
alerted to a dangerous substance stored in the attic. As luck would have it, it was an old pool of HONESTY and nobody knew
what to do with it!

{ U.S.
Constitution-Article 16 should read: " The Congress shall have power to Lay and Collect and WASTE taxes
on incomes from whatever source derived "...}

Former Oval Office advisors are deserting Jr's ship
of state like rats.

Everyone there who had an exit strategy, HAS
ALREADY LEFT!

"YOU'RE DOIN' A GREAT JOB...GEORGIE!"

Bush's approval rating is at a HIGH of 32, and
Dick Cheney's rating is at a LOW of 18. Ironically, it kinda sounds like the overnight
weather forecast in Hillary Clinton's BEDROOM!

Fidel Castro is so afraid of being assassinated, he
burns his underwear after only one use. I bet you didn't know Bush Jr.
does the SAME THING to all the Democrats HE USES!

Remember when the very WORST the Republicans
could do........

was shoot themselves IN THE FOOT?

The Pentagon orders extra body armor-Priority
One! It's not for our troops in Iraq,
it's for any future lawyers who go hunting with Dick Cheney!

Get the new Dick Cheney Vice Presidential ACTION
Doll! It comes with the authority to award no-bid contracts, declassify
documents, and it's very own shotgun!
Ammo, alibi, and lawyers not included.

Dick Cheney throws out the first pitch for the
Washington Nationals, cuz it turns out Sooter Libby was scheduled, but
he's kinda right busy now!