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UPDATED: My lottery winnings from totally legitimate lotteries

 article about UPDATED: My lottery winnings from totally legitimate lotteries
Sometimes I feel like I'm the luckiest person in the world. I keep winning with random lotteries pretty much daily, sometimes it's hundreds of thousands, sometimes it's millions. And the best part, I never have to buy a lottery ticket for it. Usually I just win the money because I have a good email address, sometimes some long lost relative dies and leaves me a huge sum, sometimes it's not a lottery but instead someone just wants to give me money because I'm a trustworthy person based on my online presence.

Western Union

A week ago I won $5000 daily from Western Union. They will be sending it to me daily until the total of $1.2M USD has been sent. My Western Union agent for that is Dr.Good luck Anderson dan.

I.M.F Scam Victims Company Africa

I.M.F Scam Victims Company Africa and USA headquarters donated me US$3.500,000.00 the same day because I have been scammed by Africa and US government and I'll be compensated through ORA Bank of Benin online banking System.

Mrs. Caroline Freund

Mrs. Caroline Freund found an abandoned sum of USD 8,000,000.00 from their dead client Paul Louis Halley. As he didn't have a next of kin, I'll be eligible for 40% of the amount.

Susan Gallion

She's a deaf American woman who used to be married to an African man. She has no relatives either, so she decided to give me USD 7,500,000.00 if I'm willing to help her carry out her vision of helping the less privileged around the world. Well, compared to other donations or winnings, that sounds like a lot of work, but I guess I could do that.

Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division

They sent me a notice that I have won $10.5million USD from a Lottery Company outside the United States of America and that they have authorized this winning to be paid to me via ATM VISA CARD. I will have to pay for the $308.00 deposit and shipping of the ATM card, but I guess that's okay.

Miss Elizabeth Abana

Another deposit of $5.500,000,00 USD should be arriving on my account via Money Gram from Miss Elizabeth Abana, paid in batches $4,5000 USD daily

Federal Ministry of Finance Office

The ministry approved the transfer of $500k to my account and should be sent in amounts of $4,000.00 daily. Just need to pay the $16.00 USD activation fee to actually get it.

Marvin and Mae Acosta

Those lottery mega winners won $528.8 million in Chin Hills Power Ball and they have decided to give me $2 million of it. I know it's not a huge sum but you know, at least it's something. And next day they contacted me again to send me $300,000.00 USD extra.

United Bank For Africa

United Bank For Africa approved the payment of $1.5m to me just this morning.

Anti - Terrorist and money laundering Agency

They promised to return my $500,000,00 USD which they initially confiscated at London Heathrow International Airport to make sure it's not related to money laundering activities.

Total to-date since May 11, 2017: $38.5m

None of the money has actually arrived yet, but I guess it might be soon.

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