Dear Craig,
My boss and i used to date, but we ended things on what I thought was a cordial note but... have continued "fooling" around ever since. I am tired of it now, and I want it to stop. What do you think? Can I pull this one off without changing jobs?

Dear B.B.G.

Office romances are a no-no and engaging in "fooling" around with the boss is even a bigger no-no. The situation has already occurred so what we need to do now is figure out how we can get you through this situation with a happy ending. Unfortunately, you didn't give me any clues on how you think your boss would react to this decision, or what type of personality your boss has. Also, I'm going to have to assume that this relationship that you developed with your boss was consentual, since you did not state otherwise. In general the best thing to do is sit down with your boss and have a discussion with him on why you feel you are ready to end things. It doesn't have to be a long drawn out speech, but I think it's only fair that he is given some reason.

The key to doing this is once you have talked with your boss and you have ended this "fooling around" you must be firm on this decision, no "one more last time" or "good-bye sex", you must not only verbally inform your boss that you are ready to end this affair, but you must also show him. Since this was a choice that you made, you must also be willing to face some of the consequences that might occur from the ending of this relationship. We all know that office gossip is rampid in the work place and it usually only takes a co-worker to get an inkling of an idea of something before they start to spread the news like a wild fire. Remember that you do have choices, and it's your responsibility to pick the right choice for the right situation. If at anytime you feel like your work environment is becoming hostile, I do highly recommend seeking some form of legal counseling.

B.B.G. has a tough decision to face in her work place and an even tougher situation that she must now face. I talked about choices in my suggestions, I think as adults we often forget that in every decision we make there are generally going to be consequences, in which some we will like and some we won't. Either way from these consequences that we receive we do have choices.

B.B.G. has several choices, some she might not like and some she might not prefer. First, B.B.G. could just quit her job and chalk this situation to a lesson learned, but as she stated she wishes to keep her job. B.B.G. might want to think about transferring to a different department or working under (no pun intended) another boss, she could always say the reasoning for the transfer is for "creative enrichment". Finally, and I think the choice that B.B.G. will make, is to confront the boss and tell him how she feels. She must remember to stay firm, that is the key in this situation, at this point in time she doesn't want to send mixed signals to her boss.