Ask Dr. Whacko

Dear Dr. Whacko:
I have trouble getting it up. So I've been
doing a lot of cunnilingus which my girlfriend is happy about but it
leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. I don't mean literally. I'd
rather be screwing her. I tried a wood splint but it gave her
splinters. What would you recommend?
Signed, Frustrated

Dr. Wacko: Have you tried Viagra?
Frustrated: Yes. I cant seem to take pills at all. If it were in liquid form, I could take it.

Dr. Wacko: Have you tried fish oil?

Frustrated: Yuck! I hate the taste of fish oil.

Dr. Wacko: I'm not talking about drinking it.
I'm talking letting your girlfriend put the fish oil on your dick
and whacking you off!