An anguish sears within me,
It tears me,
Tears my soul apart.
My mind in overdrive,
It has always existed,
For reason I know not.
"Is it always destined to be like this?"
I always ask myself,
Yet perhaps always asking myself,
Makes me think about it all the more.
Everyday I lie,
Everyday I sit,
Everyday I stand,
Everyday I sleep,
And this feeling continues to haunt me,
I tried everything.
Fulfilling my duties and roles in this world,
I am almost at the end of the tether,
I hope it is still almost.
Will it always be almost?
This zone between living and dying,
Life and hell?
I thought love would be the answer,
Someone loving me and me loving someone,
Will that not be the answer?
And never will be.
I also tried immersing myself in my work,
At first,I felt fulfilled,
I was so happy,
I felt accomplished.
Yet gradually the feeling eroded,
That feeling was stolen from me.
Like a broken soul,
Like a weary spirit.
And I know not why.
I don't know how long this saga will continue,
Neither do I want it to continue,
I just want to be happy,
Just like everybody else.
Is that so difficult?
I hope not.