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My Anguish

 article about My Anguish

An anguish sears within me,


It tears me,


Tears my soul apart.


My mind in overdrive,


My heart-


In shreds.


 


It has always existed,


For reason I know not.


"Is it always destined to be like this?"


I always ask myself,


Yet perhaps always asking myself,


Makes me think about it all the more.


 


Everyday I lie,


Everyday I sit,


Everyday I stand,


Everyday I sleep,


And this feeling continues to haunt me,


Everyday.


 


I tried everything.


Doing charity.


Religion,


Fulfilling my duties and roles in this world,


Yet-


Nothing works.


 


I am almost at the end of the tether,


At least-


I hope it is still almost.


Will it always be almost?


This zone between living and dying,


Life and hell?


 


I thought love would be the answer,


Someone loving me and me loving someone,


Will that not be the answer?


Apparently not.


And never will be.


 


I also tried immersing myself in my work,


At first,I felt fulfilled,


I was so happy,


I felt accomplished.


Yet gradually the feeling eroded,


That feeling was stolen from me.


 


I live-


Like a broken soul,


I laugh-


Like a weary spirit.


I cry-


And I know not why.


 


I don't know how long this saga will continue,


Neither do I want it to continue,


I just want to be happy,


Just like everybody else.


Is that so difficult?


I hope not.


 



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