THE JAE JOURNAL January 10, 2005

Hello and welcome to the first Journal of 2005. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I have so much to say and so little time. Well maybe not so little time, but I know your time is valuable so I will try not to take too much of it. So here it goes.

First off, I feel bad for the Tsunami victims. However, I think that we are spending way too much money on them. First I thought, $350 million, great! Nice gesture, 'W'! Now in hindsight I believe this is a mistake. I think that many Americans believe that some of the countries there are enemy states. I can say that in the middle of Indonesia many people were jumping up and down when we were attacked on 9/11, and not in a bad way. They were actually celebrating like New Year's Eve just hit Times Square. Why should all Americans have to donate their tax dollars for this? Furthermore, the UN accuses the US of being cheap. Come on. Who is the first country to provide aid to countries when they need it? Granted, our president may be a schmuck, but what about the ones before him? Charity begins at home, and our president needs to focus on the state of our country before he goes and plays Red Cross. A charity here in Chicago alone raised $1.5 million. Many celebrities are donating money. Charities are raising money from here and there and charities are raising money from everywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam I am.

Point being, the President should have donated maybe $5-$10 million. I can accept that. Money was coming from all these other places and some people believe that taxes should have been raised to help the victims. If you want to raise taxes to help another country, go live there. Where were they when 9/11 happened? (See above if you missed it) OK Sri Lanka is cool. Give Sri Lanka money. They're nice people. I am sorry about all the children dying and all the sweatshops getting swept up, but if aid should be provided to help the Tsunami victims, it should be a choice by the people of this nation, not the people who run it.

Speaking about fucked up shit in America, Michael Moore and some members of the House of Representatives think that they will be able to pressure a recount in Ohio. I think Mr. Moore should recount his brain cells and give it up. I am not a fan of Bush, but the religious right has spoken, and they want to see moral values return to America. No more nipples from Janet Jackson, no more Grand Theft Auto, no more bullshit...Just America stranded in their 2-car garage with a picket fence and a family of four who sits down together for dinner at 5pm on the dot. Besides, for people like me, this means 4 more years of picking on the monkey boy. Think about it: Would John Kerry fuck up the country more than Bushie boy? Well, yeah, probably, but I guess Coke is better than Pepsi right? Back on track: Michael Moore needs to get a life or a new hobby. Maybe he can do a documentary on the lip-syncing scandal, or write a book about the letters Tsunami victims wrote. I appreciate what the man has done, but enough is enough. Either way, let it go, big guy. Anyone who says Tom Hanks would be a great president should be placed in Moldavia during that wedding scene.

While we are on 'W', apparently he is doing his best to destroy media as we know it. The Department of Education paid conservative commentator Armstrong Williams $240,000 to support the "No Child Left Behind" act and rate other journalists on the job they are doing. That is what we call in the business, "payola." First off, it they would spend money to fund it rather than let it fall under budget year after year, maybe they would accomplish something. In an attempt to save money, they could have gone to Sean Hannity. I am sure 'W''s number one cheerleader would have done it for free.

In other news, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston are breaking up. WHO FUCKING CARES? The two of them can go smoke a bong and shove it up their ass for all I care. Maybe Anniston can shove it somewhere else since her boy won't be around anymore to satisfy her.

Apparently, a gardener is taking Star Jones - excuse me - Star Jones Reynolds to court because she owes him $7,000 for a job that he did for her. She offered to pay him with an autographed photo. Look here, Star, why don't you just pay the man for the work he did so you can get back to other things - like trying to figure out how to get your new husband in the mood so you can have the child that is going to want to crawl back inside of you after saying "this is my mom, shit God, I thought you loved everyone!"

Finally, what could be more rewarding than what happened at the Orange Bowl when stupid ass Ashlee Simpson was booed off the stage. I don't know if the crowd just didn't like her or because she decided to try singing herself for a change.

Anyway, that will do it for the journal. Have yourself a wonderful day.

Your good friend,