Hi rg,

I live in a basement apartment and have a real problem with the guy that lives upstairs. He's an artist and a real a@@hole. He works at night at home, starting around 11pm. He always has friends coming over for a party when he paints. He says it helps him to be inspired. I know it's just so he can party and smoke pot with his friends. The noise keeps me up and since I have a regular day job, it's really hard on me. The owner of the house won't do anything. He talks to the guy, says it won't happen any more, but the noise and parties always start again. I can't afford to move out and need advice on what I can do to get revenge. I'm a 5'4" girl, so beating him up isn't going to work. Any suggestions?

--Susan

Hi Susan,

Fighting fire with fire isn't going to work here. Since you have a job and he's a stay at home bum, he really has the upper-hand. Of course, he does have to sleep sometime. This is what I suggest: Get yourself the loudest alarm clock you can get -- something with a constant buzzer -- and set it for an hour after you leave for work. It's likely that he sleeps while you're at work, and 'forgetting' to reset your alarm a few times will start to send him a message. Another favorite of mine is to pay attention to when he showers. Every once in a while, run your hot water about an hour before his usual shower time. Drain all the hot water. Let him experience a few cold showers. If he complains to you, and he will, just apologize and forget about it. Start again in a few days, just like he does. You might also want to start cooking smelly things. Fish is good. There's nothing like the rising odor of a good fish meal to really fill the air. Your goal here is everyday living that becomes aggravating to him. Nothing too obvious. With luck, he'll get the message, clean up his act, or just move out.

--The Revenge Guy