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The day I met George Bush

 article about president bush 2005 satire

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The other day I was sitting in the same room with George W. Bush. It
wasn't a fancy restaurant or anything; even the prices were below the
average. The tables were covered with sexy red table-cloth and lots of
oysters were on them, not to mention loads of Tequila and 4 definitely
natural blonds with definitely real breasts sitting in there. It's just
an observation, might be a bit subjective and inadequate, as it wasn't
my table and those weren't my girls. They were accompanying Mr. Bush.



Whatever you have seen in the movies, whatever you may have read about
the American secret service and defense systems from newspapers, they
aren't telling you the truth. Not the whole truth anyway. They are all
trying to mislead you. It's a global conspiracy. The secret agent men
are never men and never as stupid as they seem. Do you really think
anyone would let a man with a face like Bush inside some public place
and even let his moron-bodyguards in? I really doubt it. So instead, as
my observations tell me – the actual agents are all busty blond women.
Natural, of course. Natural plastic with bulletproof cover.


My name is Chase the Chaser and I am private investigator. My slogan is
"Always Chase the chaser" (it sounds exactly like the coca-cola theme
and I love it). That's all you really need to know about me. As I'm
kind of a undercover agent, or at least acting like one, I can't
disclose anything else, even not to myself, someone might be reading.
The fact that I live in a beach house in Malibu, bought with the money
that I got from framing the Levinsky affair, should not be publicly
known information either.

This is my diary and that's my
first entry. Everyone needs to file information about his doings. They
say that we are currently using only a small amount of brain power and
we're up for much more – I say this is another conspiracy, conspiracy
against the small-town guy like I am. I'm not sure what kind of
conspiracy yet, but I definitely will find it out soon. So I, not like
most of the other people around here, admit I have only a small brain
potential and I'm already using 110% of it. That's the truth. And just
now I have discovered that I can't really remember much about my last
cases, so from now on, I decided to start this diary. And this is case
one.

Bush, his women and the conspiracy

Laura,
Laura Bush, hired me. During the presidential campaign she had noticed
something not so ordinary and she decided to hire a private
investigator to follow his man everywhere he goes. She suspected that
Mr. Bush was having an affair, but she wasn't sure with whom. During
the campaign time he had noticed four women always twirling around Mr.
Bush. She knew her husband couldn't handle even one well enough, not to
mention four, so she wasn't worried about all of them. But she thought
she knew one thing for sure – one of them was screwing him. Now she
just wanted to know – WHO?



Laura knew for a long
time that she isn't too attractive, the mirror just didn't like her
much, but that's faith. At least that's what she thought herself. My
background investigation shows however that she never has been a normal
child. She was brought up by Batman and Robin and you have all seen
those two.

He gave me the 200 000 down payment and we got
started. And now here I was, in the same room with the worlds most
respected leader, George W. Bush. Four busty, really great looking
women sitting all around him. If you'd only seen them – so sexy, so
hot, and the way they licked their bananas. God they were hot. I was
just imagining them in their swimming suits and then without them.
Rubbing towards each other and then against George...hkk, autch, hkk,
mmm...fark! Again. Huh, it's always happening to me. And there I
was...awake, ready to change my pants.

This was my dream.
Usually they tend to be wet, and this was nothing out of the ordinary.
After all, we're talking about George W. Bush for gods' sake!

This wasn't the end you were looking for…right?


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