A Stranger In Town: People From Outer Space Arrive
It was only a few days ago when Yodar Hoopelhoffer, the
Mount Perry town idiot, ambled down North Jefferson Street in the
company of a
A Space Ship
A Space Ship Over Mount Perry small hairy, bipedal,
creature. It was unlike anything anyone in this town had ever seen
before, except, possibly for our resident lake watcher Seymore Monsters.
was walking upright on its hind legs, and it was completely covered
with a thick coat of dark brown, coarse looking hair. Its beady little
eyes were set deep in the facial hair as was a small black nose. Under
all this was a mouth full of very sharp looking teeth. Its ears were
located high on its head and their points stood out just shown above
the hair. It had five fingers on each hand, with opposable thumb, and
five toes on each foot complete with toe and finger nails, all neatly
Although no one else could understand a word of what
was being said; the creature seemed to be carrying on a conversation
with Yodar. It was fairly obvious Yodar was enjoying the conversation.
Unfortunately, there was no way to tell what the mood of the creature
was because of all the hair on its face. The two moved through Mount
Perry and on to Yodar's house where they went inside like old friends.
moments of the first sighting, members of the world famous Mount Perry
Zoological Society were called to the scene to make a determination of
exactly what kind of creature was visiting Yodar. In the past, Yodar
had brought home some rather strange and sometimes quite dangerous wild
animals. At the very least, this thing was strange looking. With its
sharp looking teeth, it could very well be dangerous.
through the living room window, the members of the Zoological Society
found Yodar and the creature drinking what looked like tea from Yodar's
best porcelain cups. They seemed to be swapping jokes, judging by the
way the two of them were laughing it up.
However, even with long
distance listening devices, no one could understand a word the two of
them were speaking. Yodar had long claimed; he spoke fluently in 52
different languages. The world acclaimed Mount Perry Linguistic Society
was never able to identify more than two of the languages. Now it
seemed, we were listening to the third of the identifiable languages
even though no one recognized or understood it.
was invited to bring his guest outside but the request was refused.
Yodar said his guest did not want to be interviewed. A similar demand
from the Mount Perry Police Department met a similar fate. It seemed
quite evident, Yodar had no intention of sharing his guest with anyone
else at this time.
Biblical scholars now became alarmed at the
similarity between this situation and the situation just prior to the
destruction of Zodom and Samora. They favoured leaving the situation
strictly alone lest the wrath of God fall on our beautiful Mount Perry.
the advice of our more enlightened and pious citizens, the police
department immediately surrounded the house with armed patrolmen. They
wanted to make sure the creature stayed where it was until some
determination could be made as to exactly what it was.
the first speculation was; it was some sort of dwarf or young "Big
Foot" monster. This idea gained favor as time went on and pictures of
the hairy little creature, taken through Yodar's window, were
As the day wore on, the Mount Perry Zoological
Society decided it was nothing more than some very shy species of dumb
animal who had wandered the swamps around Mount Perry, but remained
unseen, for generations. It was, however, able to converse with Yodar
Hoopelhoffer because, Yodar was also considered quite dumb. The two of
them shared a similar mentality and were thus able to exchange ideas at
In due course of time, it was decided to trap the
animal and put it in a cage at the Zoo. Mr I. Katchum, Mount Perry's
expert on trapping wild and dangerous animals, was brought into the
picture and instructed to catch the animal unhurt as a zoological
Going immediately to the establishment of Gross
Schnaps, Inc., Mr. Katchum called in his team of 60 or so helpers.
Katchum and his gang of thugs then moved in on Yodar's home with great
stealth. Once in position around the house, a signal was given. Mr.
Katchum and all of his 60 helpers charged into the house wielding nets
After a brief struggle the creature was brought out
of the house wrapped securely in nets. It just seemed to be resting in
the net, its arms folded across its chest, with a, "What the Hell is
this all about?" expression on its face.
protested loudly over the removal of his friend saying, "This is my
friend! You have no right to invade my home and remove him." The police
brushed him aside and made off to the zoo with Mr. Katchum's mob and
their prize. After all, Yodar was the Mount Perry town idiot, what did
Yodar wailed, "You don't know what you're doing. This
is an intelligent creature and an advanced emissary from another world,
bent on expansion into less civilized worlds. All you're doing is
demonstrating we're not civilized." No one paid him the slightest
The new guest at the zoo just sat down against the
back wall of the cage and watched the curious crowd wander by staring
at him. It seemed to have no interest at all in what was going on.
Toward evening the creature got up and wandered over to the door to the
cage and examined the lock in great detail.
Just after dark,
there was a muffled explosion at the zoo. Shortly thereafter the
creature was seen racing through the streets of beautiful downtown
Mount Perry, and out into the swamps. Mr. Katchum and his gang raced
into the swamps from the bar in which they had been celebrating,
shortly thereafter, their reward money only a dim memory. However
unsteady on their feet they were, they were indeed intent on
recapturing the creature.
Yodar sat on his front porch watching what was going on. His only comment was, "You're going to be sorry you did this."
ten minutes after Mr. Katchum and his gang vanished into the swamp,
there was a huge ball of blue light and a sizzling sound way off in the
underbrush. Minutes later Katchum and his gang reemerged from the swamp
on the run, completely naked, hairless and scorched to a dark brown
Wild eyed with fear, Katchum pointed over his shoulder
and said, "Watch Out! The hairy little beast is armed! Run for your
lives!" Before he could speak another word, there was a low pitched hum
and a circular looking, silver colored object, rose up out of the swamp.
object zoomed in very low over the town of Mount Perry and "ZAPPED" the
entire town with a blue ray that left the entire population naked,
hairless and scorched like Katchum's gang. All that is except Yodar,
who still sat on his porch nodding his head as he murmured, "I told you
you'd be sorry."
The object then swooped low over Yodar's home
and wobbled its wings once or twice before it vanished soundlessly into
the night sky.
This picture was snapped by the camera man who accompanied Mount Perry's ace reporter, Mr. Badnews Hunter to the scene.
the two of them are now as naked, scorched and hairless as the rest of
the town's population, the film in the camera was not damaged.