This article belongs to Jae Journal column.

Hello and welcome to the journal. Sorry I am running behind but with building the new website, my new gig with Libby at WKRS, and trying to figure out what the next episode of the mJp is, I forgot all about a journal for a couple weeks. You guys know how I can get sometimes so please be gentle.


Paris Hilton going to jail. I love it. It could be a movie. It could be a comedy, horror, cult classic, or even a porn. Can you imagine a prison rape scene with Paris? Three big girls get tiny little Paris and have their way with her. I wonder what Paris is going to look like in a jumpsuit.


All kidding aside, Paris going to jail is like everyone going to Jamaica. It would be a nice vacation, BUT you know entertainment shows, cable news, and everyone will be talking about Paris in jail for a long time. Maybe it is because of the star power she has without doing a single thing. Maybe it's because she is the heiress to one of the biggest hotel chains in the world. Maybe she is so loved/hated by many so it makes for interesting coffee talk.


Look Paris Hilton is a person. Nothing more, nothing less. Why anyone would give a shit if this bitch went to jail is beyond me? But OK, I'll play. Paris Hilton committed a crime. A HUGE CRIME that many people die for in this country. She got a DUI. You would think that this would straighten her out a little, but no. She goes and drives on her suspended license, which usually is the footnote to the DUI. Her excuse, my people didn't tell me about the suspension.


Well Paris, I bet your people didn't tell you that there was a party in the hills two weeks ago, but I bet you were there. I bet your people didn't tell you that when people film sex, it usually goes for sale. How about this you coochy little ho, take responsibility with your life since you're an adult and figure a couple of things out for yourself. Like your bills, your violations, the number of guys you date in a month, whatever. You need to know what you are doing in this life because as I said earlier, you are a human being, and for you my love, I use that term very, very loosely.

Paris Hilton has a history of getting into trouble and not suffering any consequences. Maybe not always legally but in one particular incident, Paris saw her DVD at a news stand and stole all the copies and when face to face with a judge, she was let off. Why? If you or I did that, we would have some consequence. Why in the hell does she get away with it?


And now this arrogant little bitch wants to write her petition to Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to "pardon her for her mistake." First of all, the fuck can't even spell correctly. I.E. "My friend Joshua started this petition, please help and sihn." What the hell is that moron? Sign is spelled sign, not sihn. Dumb ass. It also says, "We, the American public who support Paris, are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong." Hello, Paris the celebrity and so called role model should be setting a good example. If I had someone close to me die of a drunken driving accident, I would be appalled by her request. OK many people get arrested for DUI everyday, but because "I'm Paris and I'm so special, I should get a free pass." BULLSHIT! No free pass for you, you used piece of yeast infection. You are the example. In fact, if I have a daughter, I will do everything in my power to see to it she is nothing like you. You should be happy you are going to jail, and that you are being made an example of. You are now finally doing something positive with your life and your dare I say career. Yes, in this worthless, desperate plea to the governor she says she would like to get back to her career. What exactly is that Paris? Valet parking?


However the thing that really makes me sick and that her legions of fans who for the most part are probably useless sluts themselves that worship Paris as their poster girl, is that people are saying "people get house arrest for much worse." Paris Hilton committed a crime. She drove drunk. She got busted, and she said fuck you to the law, and decided she would drive, and then when she got caught, she uses this bullshit I didn't know excuse. It is completely irresponsible. You are 26 year old, and as an adult, be responsible.


That's all I got for now. Peace.