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The Oz Journals - Entry Four

 article about I come from a land down under
One thing I have noticed about living here in the land Down Under is
the laid-back lifestyle of the residents. Take footwear, for instance.
Shoes basically aren't worn a great deal of the time, if they're worn
at all. People go grocery shopping barefoot and even pump gas barefoot.
In many restaurants, they allow bare feet, which isn't really shocking
considering that a good number of restaurants in the United States
allow bare breasts.

Where I am staying, by the beach, people
come right out of the ocean to do whatever. No more decent waves to
surf? No worries, mate, let's get the grocery shopping done then. So in
they come in their sandals (they call them thongs here; I believe we
used to do the same until some bright spark decided that the word
"thong" more aptly described the buttfloss undergarments that a lot of
women wear nowadays. Come on, girls, those things cannot be
comfortable!), wearing their Billabong surf tees and Roxy bikinis as
they shop for groceries, often still wet from the ocean.

have to admit I was taken rather aback at the sight of a young blonde
in a string bikini - with a tanned brown body that you could bounce a
dime off of - in the produce section trying to decide which cucumber
was the ripest. I started to get dizzy and I thought I would pass out
until my ever-vigilant wife (who monitors my health fervently) stamped
on my toes and slapped me very hard across the face. I am so lucky to
have a wife like her, constantly fretting over me and ensuring I am
maintaining a healthy degree of wellness.

Very few men have
both a beautiful woman and a personal trainer rolled into one fabulous
spouse. She was even considerate enough to see that I got my
cardio-vascular system back into operation by chasing me up and down
the aisles swinging a tefal no-stick frying pan that she had no
intention of purchasing. What a woman.

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