Hello and Merry Christmas to all. I really have nothing to say for Christmas except for this…

It was the night before Christmas and all through the press

There was a ho named Paris removing her dress

The stockings were hung on the chimney with care

While Oprah the saint had all this cool shit to share

While Martha Stewart was sad, and sat in her cage

Ronnie from Indy flew in the stands with a furious rage

Janet with her outfit, and Mr. Moore in his cap

And watching Scott Peterson go down, for a long dirt nap

When on Saturday Night Live, I witnessed a clatter

I turned up the volume, to see what was the matter

It was Ashlee Simpson, singing a song

But wait she wasn't singing I guess I was wrong

I turned off the TV, and went right upstairs to bed

Jesus Christ, did Barry Bonds really have a big head?

On top of the house, I heard such a racket

Oh shit, it's Santa Claus, and he has no jacket

He filled the stockings with so much shit to spare

He brought over a wig, to cover Donald's bad hair

He brought hooked on phonics too, to help a special guy

His name is GW, something new for him to try

He left more stuff, for all to enjoy

Ahh, but don't forget for the factor, a brand new sex toy

He then got on his sleigh, with all those wanna be's

On Fantasia, on Omarossa, on Amber if you please

So 2004, what a year it has been

From a live strong bracelet, to Jennifer and Ben

And to all of the people who read this, who don't think it's right

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, take a bite.

Yes my rhyming may be off some, but it is funny. Happy Holidays.