I just took my dog Yogi for a check up.

I had been told to bring in a stool sample.
I had previously asked them if the stool sample should be from him or me.
The idiot doctor looked at me funny and said "From him."

His name is Dr. Katz, which, of course, is better than Dr. Shit Tsoo.

Anyway, I forgot to bring Yogi's stool sample and, because I had a reputation there for forgetting things, I was embarrassed that I had forgotten the stool sample.

So rather than admitting it, I went outside, behind a shrub and made my own stool sample. I had to lie flat and on the stool when I saw a police car drive by.

I got busted.

In my defense, I said "Officer, I believe that there is no specific law against lying on one's own stool. Haven't you done that yourself?"

The idiot cop looked at me funny and shook his head and walked away.

So later, I gave Dr. Katz my stool sample and said to the doctor "This stool is Yogi's, not mine."

The idiot doctor looked at me funny.

Thinking of the word "stool," I remembered that I needed a chair and a stool, so, while Yogi was at his exam, I went to IKEA.

I said to the saleswoman, "I need a stool....not a fecal stool, but a wood stool."

The idiot sales lady looked at me funny.

I went into the bathroom to see if my fly was down which made them look at me funny.

My fly was down so I knew it was nothing that I said.

Anyhow, I went back to Dr. Katz' office to pick up Yogi.

The doctor said with a serious face "Mr. Harvith, I need to talk to you."

I said, with trepidation, "Can I come into your orifice."

Again, the idiot doctor looked at me funny.

In Dr. Katz' office, he said "Mr. Harvith, I am quite concerned. Yogi has always had healthy stool results, but this time it was different and I am very concerned.

It is quite clear that he has developed mild retardation, dementia, Altzheimer's, poor judgment, confusion between fantasy and reality and a desire to hump ladies' legs."

I said "Is that good?"

Again, this idiot doctor looked at me funny.

I said to the doctor, "Dr. Putz, I mean Dr. Katz, can you give me my stool sample back,
I'd like to get a second opinion.

This putz doctor, again, looked at me funny.

What is wrong with these people?

People are such idiots!

Copywrong 2013 Seymour Lipschitz III.