An Ode to Lynne Spears: The Greatest Stage Mother of All Time

 

All of us stage mothers wish that we were Lynne Spears.  She has the best thing going when it comes to Britney and now little Jamie Lynn.  In a crafty, controlling way, she was the one who made Britneys success.  Britney appreciates her help and has richly rewarded her.  All I want to do is learn a little from the brilliance of Lynne.

 

I have a daughter who has just as much, if not more, talent than Britney Spears.  Shes not exactly the best singer in the world, but she can dance her cute little ass off.  I tell her not to worry about being able to sing. They can help her voice sound better in the studio, and then she just has to lip sync and dance on tour. I have encouraged her to wear midriff revealing shirts, which has caused some people who dont understand to think that Im trying to objectify her.  Shes nine, for Christs sake.  Its not like its too early for her to show a little skin.  I tried to get her belly button pierced because its what she really wanted, but the guy at the tattoo shop refused.  Can you imagine?  Im her mother, and I was there to give permission, but he refused to do it.  He kept saying, Shes too young.  Too young for what?  To look adorable?

 

Some mothers obviously push their children towards show business when the kids dont want to. Genevieve loves going to auditions.  I take her to commercial auditions at least twice a week.  At this time, Im acting as her agent and manager.  Ive tried to get her signed on with an agency, but they say they have a hard time identifying her type.  It makes me angry that they cant see that she can do anything.  Thats why its called acting.  Hel-lo!!

 

My guilty pleasure every week is reading Lynnes Corner on the Britney Spears website.  I always imagine myself one day writing to all of Genevieves fans.  Did you see the one where Lynne talks about not seeing Britney for a while and then they showed up in almost the same outfit?  They were both wearing jeans and chocolate brown tops!  You know people must think that Lynnes famous, too, because she looks so young and terrific.  I know that Genevieve and I will also be really close as she grows up.  We already wear similar outfits now, but its not as cute because people dont know who we are.

 

If I had a million dollars for every time someone told me that Genevieve was the best at whatever she just auditioned for, well, I wouldnt need to keep taking her to so many auditions.  It really surprises me that she hasnt gotten a part yet.  She tells me all the time, Mama, Im sorry Im not getting parts and we live in an apartment.  I want to make you proud of me.  Really, isnt that just the cutest thing youve ever heard?  I tell her that I am proud of her, and I remind her to work just a little bit harder.  How can she expect to book jobs if she stops trying?

 

People sometimes think that I push her into acting and dancing.  Genevieve asks me to make her famous.  She knows how much I struggle financially to get her to dancing classes and acting classes.  I try not to make her feel bad about it, but she needs to know that her mother is sacrificing for her.  It will make us closer when she gets famous.  Then everyone will talk about how much I gave up for her and how grateful she is to me.

 

Some people have implied that Im just using her to make up for the fact that I dont have the talent to succeed.  I will say this: I could have done something big.  Everyone used to say how good I was at tap dancing and baton twirling.  I would have pursued it if I hadnt gotten pregnant so soon.  I was nineteen when Genevieve was born.  At the time, it was very scary having to care for a baby, being such a baby myself.  Now, I feel incredibly lucky that were so close in age.  It means that we really will be able to be best friends forever.  With her father completely out of the picture, it just makes us closer.

 

Its not like I mean to push her.  I know that she will appreciate all of it when shes older and successful.  I worry that I wont be able to keep her from the paparazzi, but I will again take a lesson from Lynne Spears.  Did you hear about how she ran over a photographer when he was taking pictures of Britney and Jamie Lynn buying puppies in Santa Monica?  I loved how she put it on Britneys website. [Britney] wanted to take a few days because some of the paparazzi seem to be getting more and more aggressive, (Funny though, they seem to be steering at least 3 feet clear of me!)  I long for the day when I can make the paparazzi squirm, just like Lynne.

 

 You can also tell that Lynne was behind Britney getting married this time.  She knew that things werent working out for Britney in the publics opinion.  She tried to let Britney run her own life, but look what happened!  Lynne insisted that Britney get engaged before she got married.  Shes probably had to grit her teeth about Kevin Federline, but she at least pretends shes thrilled that her daughter married the king of white trash. In a few years, when Britney realizes the mistake she made, Lynne will be there to help her pick up the pieces.   

 

When you look at Britney Spears today, the one thing that separates her from being just another hot chick and a star is her mother.  If Lynne hadnt pushed her into performing at pageants and getting her into the Mickey Mouse Club, she would be nowhere.  Its not to take anything away from Britney, but the world needs to appreciate and respect Lynne Spears.  You know how people look at Lynne as the great stage mother?  Thats how people are going to look at me, too.  I cant wait!

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