Independents Are The BIGGEST Idiots

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Article published on 30th October 2008 in NO LAUGHING          










UK GOVERNMENT SUPPORTS WAR CRIMES ACCUSED FOR EU PRESIDENT
It has been revealed that the Gordon Brown Government is endorsing former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair to become EU President. In a move that will be fiercely opposed in Europe, current UK Government ministers are lobbying behind the scenes on Blair's behalf.

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Independents Are The BIGGEST Idiots

How can you NOT know who you are going to vote for in this election? One independent replied "Both candidates seem to be moving toward the middle. So I just don't see much difference in them and don’t know who to vote for."
Are you friggin' KIDDING ME?!?!?!? I don’t know that there has ever been two candidates, so far apart on the issues.

For those of you who are still "on the fence", the Questionnaire below will help:

Iraq is a place where I just got a really cheap deal on a condo because the market is so low.
1. Iraq is:

a) A breeding ground for terror. We should stay there forever, if our president tells us to.
b) Costing American lives and money, was based on a pack of lies and will do us no long-term good.
c) A place where I just got a really cheap deal on a condo because the market is so low.

2. Healthcare is:

a) Doing just fine. There is no need to get the government involved and socialize it.
b) A disgraceful embarrassment to our country and needs an overhaul.
c) I don't care, as long as breast implants are covered in the policy.

3. The Economy is:

a) Basically sound. Ups and downs are to be expected.
b) In serious trouble. We need a change.
c) Economy? Is that like, taking care of the environment?

Economy is heavier in the summer because I use so much more of it then.
4. Our Dependence on Oil:

a) Will be solved if we just drill enough holes here, at home.
b) Will never be solved by actions that continue our dependence on oil.
c) Is heavier in the summer because I use so much more of it then. Usually SPF 30 or better!

5. Gay Rights are:

a) Eeeewwwwww. Disgusting!
b) Human rights.
c) Happy rights?

6. Roe v. Wade:
a) Resulted in millions of murders.
b) Gave women control over their own bodies.
c) Wait, that has something to do with fish eggs, right?

7. The Right to Bear Arms:
a) Is sacred
b) Needs reform, especially in inner cities.
c) Allows you to go sleeveless!

KEY:
For each question you answered "a", lean slightly to the right. For each question you answered "b", lean slightly to the left. For each question you answered "c", stick your head slightly up your buttocks.


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