Self-help books are great! They're great for the authors of self-help books! Who else can get rich by telling other people that if only they would do things that they don't do, their life would be different? It's a wonderful thing. So let's say you want to become a self-help author. Here are the Rules you'll need to fo... continue reading

Dear Santa:

I am writing in advance to address your policy of gifts being delivered only to those children on your “Good� list.

First of all, let me make it clear that my father is an attorney with one of the largest firms in New York so I am familiar with how these things work. So don’t mess with me chubb... continue reading

A Letter to the People of Earth


Okay so it’s not like there is a question as to whether or not we exist. You KNOW we exist. I mean think about it. The universe is big. Really just colossally, insanely and hugely big. Tiger Woods could not hit his best drive across it, on a gravity free day. Just trust me, it’s ... continue reading

Addict: One who asks themselves whether they are addicted to something.

Rationalization: A small cartoon character who appears on your left shoulder and tells what you are doing, or are about to do is perfectly okay.

Warcraft: A game created specifically for guys who don’t need career advancement, girlfriends or ... continue reading

The Message.
Why couldn’t they ever listen to The Message? It was always SO simple:

[extract1]1. There is only One God. You can call Him God or Allah or The Force or the Mystic Flying Turtle (which, for about 600 years, a group of South American villagers did). He really doesn’t care.

2. Don't WORRY about wha... continue reading

Why will the GOP Lose This Presidential (and several senatorial) Election in 2008? Seven reasons. All pretty simple. Here they are:

1. George "W" Bush. THERE’S a reason not to vote Republican again! On 9/11, terrorists attacked the USA. Ever since, Bush and Cheney have been systematically destroying everything it st... continue reading

How can you NOT know who you are going to vote for in this election? One independent replied "Both candidates seem to be moving toward the middle. So I just don't see much difference in them and don’t know who to vote for."
Are you friggin' KIDDING ME?!?!?!? I don’t know that there has ever been two candidates, so far... continue reading

Jill was watching one of the ten tv shows, she watched every day. This show was one of her favorites because the star was a nice, heavyset woman and the villain was a woman who had a body that was obscenely thin.

She finished her potato chips and was lifting her massive form from her chair, when all hell broke... continue reading