Live and Let Die?

My mother and step-father called me the other night to tell me that they were making out their wills. They had been meaning to get around to it for a long time, but watching the news lately reminded them that it needed to get done now.

They were watching the Terri Shaivo case on the news and were terrified. In case you have not been watching, there is a case in Florida right now that is drawing attention all over the United States. Terri Shaivo suffered irreparable brain damage fifteen years ago and has been kept alive with a feeding tube ever since. Her husband has been fighting for her right to die for the last seven years. This is the third time that her feeding tube has been removed, but two other times judges intervened to have the tube reinserted. Without the help of the tube, Terri would expire in about a week.



While it might seem cruel to allow someone to basically starve to death, it should be noted that her brain damage will never be reversed. Her husband has been fighting with her parents, saying that she told him that she never wanted to be kept in a vegetative state. Her parents claim that she could get better, and they say can see glimpses of their daughter before the brain damage occurred. No one can say for sure if she would have wanted to be kept alive because there was no living will. The Republicans who control this nation, and have a right to life agenda, are stepping in to allow the federal courts to decide Terri’s fate. Her husband has maintained that this is a family situation and should not be decided by the courts. He has also accused the current administration of pandering for votes. I can’t help but see the irony that President Bush, who comes from the state which proudly boasts more death penalties carried out than any other state, is making such an issue out of this case. The lesson seems to be to make sure that you have a living will.

Not only do I feel that people should have a living will, it is also helpful to know what someone wants done with their body after they die. My father passed away four years ago without ever expressing what he wanted. While my grandparents had their own ideas of what he would have wanted, my brother and I were ultimately responsible. We were considered the true next of kin, but we had no idea if he wanted to be buried or if he would have preferred cremation. In times of grief, it is especially difficult to know if you’re making the right decision. While psychic Sylvia Brown says that the dead do not care what happens to their bodies after they pass away, none of us will be sure until we pass on as well. As someone who has had to wrestle with this issue, I think that the nicest thing anyone can do for their families is to have a legal document stating what they want to happen.

If you had to live with a feeding tube like Terri Shaivo, how long would you want to live that way? Three days? Three months? Three years? Indefinitely? Who would you want to make the decision? Your family? The Supreme Court? Even if you have these difficult conversations with your family, it has to be in writing for the law to recognize it. The only thing I asked my parents for when they said they were making out their wills was to please be as specific as possible. I asked them to tell me how they want their funerals to be handled. I have had to help plan one before, and there are so many things to deal with.

As this case unfolds, I will be watching along with the rest of the nation to see if Terri Shaivo will be allowed to die. Most people do not think of these issues when they are only twenty-six, as she was when the brain damage occurred. Since she did not have a living will, her family can only guess what she would want. Please have these conversations with your family and make a living will for yourself while you still can. You never know how someone will interpret what you would have wanted when you’re unable to speak for yourself.

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