The BRA-SNAP Heard 'Round the World!
This article belongs to In Search of Laughs! column.
(Women have waited long enough!)
I don't want your vote. I don't want your money. I want your attention for about four minutes. Four minutes of your time, and then you can change the world. How about it? Is it a deal? Only brave souls should read on from here. If this mutual contract is too frightening, then just call yourself a Nancy-boy, (because I will) and go watch some boob-tube!
You wouldn't believe what we make women swallow in
Over 56% of the world's population are women, so I believe one of them should be the next leader of the free world! Are ya still with me? We can change the whole world in one fell swoop! One woman is on the verge of answering zillions and zillions of feminine prayers. Maybe it's time you got on board this fantastically speeding train. Imagine the changes.
History provides several pertinent examples:
By the way, next I'm going to want to have an African-American as President! They, and women, have suffered enough. Wouldn't you say? I figure
I see a day... a wonderful day...when, for the first time, The President of The United States has an itch. She doesn't invade somewhere, she doesn't steal someone's oil, when she has an itch, she casually reaches back and snaps her bra. That's my dream.
I ask you to envision the enormous social changes, if a woman was our President. First off, wife-beating would become a death penalty offense. Second, that sexual harrassment game would include castration. Third, every twenty-eight days, the rest of the world calm down, grow quiet, and only talk about sending chocolate to America...all this, out of silent repect.
I ask you to envision the huge economic changes if a woman was boss. First, the cosmetic industry will own their own continent. Second, anorexia, and bulimia will become Olympic sports. And third, secretaries, teachers, and prostitutes will have to be paid $100,000 per anum. Think of the cash possibilities!
Relax...and enjoy what's inevitable. Then go out, and do what's right! Vote!
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I am going to be a father very soon, and I am excited. I am nervous about a couple of changes. For instance the lack of freedom, the financial burden, and the pressure it will put on Vicki and me.
America has a long history of gangsters, leaders of gangs that form in economically depressed urban areas. In human evolution, no behavior was more adaptive than a tendency to form close-knit work groups.
With all its gadflies (and their cash) The Grand Old Party must feel like they've flown into a colossal "Time for a Change!" bug-zapper!
A painter lets it all hang out for his art
It’s worth it, even if all The UN can claim is that they stopped most of mankind from killing with nuclear bombs for half a decade!