It’s said that chickens still come home to roost, well - a bunch of little birdies (
NO, not the kind that Vijay & Tiger shoot) came to tell me the latest news, which I relate to you here:
From The International Flyways:Now in West Africa, Al Queda is
LAUNCHING Hurricanes at Florida and Texas!
The United Nations
reminds US: Friends, don’t let friends
INVADE TOO MUCH! Scotland Yard releases only one Islamite! His name is Achmed
DENT DUIT! The Official Flag of France has been changed to
ALL WHITE!
To the average Middle Easterner, Saudi Arabia must seem like Muslim-
DECAF! There’s talk of a
Million MUSLIM March! But, I don’t think it’ll happen.
I can see where there might be a
MILLIONS OF PIECES of Muslims’ March!
From The CONUS Flyways:Former Secretary of Defense Dean Rusk rolls over in his grave, as this week, The Pentagon announces the Vietnamization, uh,
AHEM, the IRAQI-ization of the war!
Interrogators report that Saddam Hussein was
quite disappointed, when he didn’t get a Father’s Day card from his Ooday and Qusay!
Jacoby and Myers named as
Public Defender for imprisoned Saddam Hussein.
Sometimes, I wonder if people from other countries think that
BARNEY FIFE is running America!
If Winston Churchill were here, he’d say: “ Dubya will
always do the right thing,
AFTER he has exhausted every other option first.
RE-ELECT Dick Cheney in 2008!
8 more years! 8 more years! I better be careful. The last guy to make fun of Dick Cheney got a movie made about it: Yeah, it was
“ DEAD MAN walking! ” The price of gasoline
is SO HIGH, now we have to
INVADE three more countries! De’ja vu! Jane Fonda is on a bus tour of America, protesting The War,
again! Only, this time, her tour bus is
powered by WRINKLE CREAM! Congress will
fund all space operations if NASA puts John Dean and Al Gore
ON another planet. Bonus money, if John Kerry & Teddy Kennedy get thrown in the deal!
The Dow Jones Stock Market
FLIRTS with the
11,000 barrier!
Then, drops it like a blind date that
WON’T PUT OUT! 32% of Americans admit they
believe in ghosts! And
NONE of them believe The Baltimore Oriole’s Raphael Palmiero
DID NOT take STEROIDS! Running back Ricky Williams reports to Miami Dolphin training camp
one year LATE. Ricky arrived with his
new personal trainer,
Willie Nelson and carrying
three BONGS!
From the land of FRUITS and NUTS:California names its
#1 driver distraction! California drivers are
four times more likely
to crash during
Cell Phone Use than when
Re-loading (2nd) or
Having Sex (3rd)
The L.A. City Council, in a devious effort to put them out of business, is proposing to
introduce Mike Tyson into the adult film industry!
Inventor of Botox
dies at age 90! But, since
his face hadn’t moved in 20 yrs, it took his butler
two days to discover that he was dead!
Rumors of Arsenio Hall’s Death have been
greatly exaggerated. It was the death of his
CAREER that was being reported!
After his recent acquittal, Michael Jackson went home to Never Land, and celebrated by
cracking OPEN a couple of twelve year-old boys!
Michael Jackson went out and bought Harry Potter!
He didn’t buy the book, Wacko Jacko went out and
bought the teenage actor who plays Harry Potter!
If our world weren’t so funny, I would really start to get worried
about our situation. What a wicked web we weave, when first we practice
to believe! If I didn’t laugh, I’d die! Tell Tinkerbell, please, tell
Her that
I STILL believe our world is funny! “ As ye think, so shall ye believe! ”
Tags:
people world america war US money sex africa 
