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Notes From Poor Lue, March, 2005

 article about California
2005-02-19 06:11:57

This article belongs to In Search of Laughs! column.


Nationalism is the world's flu! Did you get your shot?

So many absentee ballots from America were cast in the Iraqi election; The new Mayor of Mosul is now JEB BUSH.

Syria is an ancient Arabic word that means NEXT!

You go to war with the LIES you have!

Republicans want to have a big tent party, but if you're a minority,

You have to stand in the back of the tent!

Thomas Paine said, "You can't conquer an idea with an army."

Does Junior even know who Thomas Paine was?

President Bush is so dim; his Blackberry is actually a real blackberry!

Bill Clinton's legacy may be stained, but Bush Jr's legacy will probably be misspelled!

All Bill Clinton did, was try to put a human face on his problems!

It's not living rightly that is important! What is important is living Neo-Con!

America's sixth fastest export is "Democracy on STEROIDS"

Ann Coulter and Bill O'Reilly recently got matching tattoos that say, "I love me!"

Howard Dean and Ted Kennedy got matching tattoos that say, "Tax & spend!"

Blue state folks are starting to tell red state folks to, collectively, "Shove it!"

Nobody noticed, but in Jr's inauguration parade the float representing California was a CLOSED power generating plant!

Florida's parade float, designed by Diebold, was a broken voting machine!

New California strain of flu leaves victims suffering for 10 days, and with an unexplainable desire to pay ten times what real estate is actually worth!

California Gov. Arnold puts pay toilets in the State Capitol. It's a pay-as-you-go plan!

California's new over the counter syringe program may help more than just IV drug users. Just ask Barry Bonds and Kirstie Alley.

At The Donald's wedding his head looked like the Hindenberg, right before it blew up!

Prince Charles is so effeminate, his wedding Camilla Parker Bowles

Looks like a gay marriage! It's a fairy tale come true!

Scott Peterson has offered to execute Robert Blake. Gloria Allred keels right over!

NHL cancels season & the only people who are mad are dentists & plastic surgeons!

At Westminster, Keith Olberman's toupee wins Best In Show!

Now, pop singer George Michaels is claiming before his arrest at that public bathroom, he was JUST injecting steroids!

Michael Jackson's PSA's for black history month are cancelled. Evidently, as far as being black goes, Michael Jackson is history!

New taser-gun offered for home use, just in case you have really rowdy kids!

Courtney Love meets with her investment counselors. She's planning on opening up a chain of Drive-In Crystal Meth Labs!

Now, we can call them the "Food and Dummy Administration!"

Turns out the Cox-2 inhibitors were listed as the favorite prescription ofThe lesbian community!





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