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Get off My President’s Back!

 article about Get off My President’s Back!
2007-04-11 01:44:55

This article belongs to In Search of Laughs! column.

(An open appeal to America's critics!)


Oh sure, like your country's never been run by some idiot before! 


Hey world, calm down some! Gosh, golly, gee, if we're all so terrible just put America on "hold" for awhile until we get a new leader. Dubya's warranty runs out next year, and we're replacing him just as fast as our constitutional processes allow.


I say: "Damn the faint praise and full speed ahead!"  Has Bush invaded your country yet?  Ha-ha!  Most of you have to say no. Relax, he hasn't got enough time to stage more than one or two more invasions, so again, most of you are safe for now!


Look, almost everybody in America has seen him bumbling through his speeches, hiring his cronies for jobs they cannot do, and playing his little hide and seek game with the truth! Even he says he is what he is because of his daddy. Gee, our attitude is mostly: Hey, George W. Bush is a real yayhoo! But, unfortunately, he's our yayhoo!


Yes, we know Bush is intellectually and verbally limited. But you and the rest of the world should try to remember that he's also term-limited!  He's going to be gone soon, so kindly please stop beating our lame duck, uh, uh…stop beating the dead horse! Please!


I hope the rest of the world will excuse us, here in the old US of A, for not giving that #43 the heave-ho a lot sooner, but hey, whaddya gonna do? Dig Oswald up and instruct Lee Harvey to shoot Junior?  No, we're not into that…anymore!


Oh, I know…if this weren't America, there could be an old timey military coup to get rid of Bush II.  But, we're not South America or Pakistan. Besides, everybody who's "in the know" realizes Uncle Sam temporarily gelds our military.  (When they're stateside!)


Remember: Thank God, that George W. Bush is not, repeat not, our President for life!  It's just starting to seem that way!  Can't we all just hold our breath for awhile until he's faded away?  Just how bad could he get?  OK, never mind the last part.  My bad!


My point is: soon America is going to have another new president. It happens more often than you'd think. And if you didn't like our last one, wait until you check out the choices we've got waiting for all of us this time.  I kinda doubt the majority of you will like any of them too much, either.


You can bet our next president will have a truckload of cleaning up to do, after Georgie has skeedaddled back to his Crawford ranch. If any of you sympathetic well-wishers out there have a recipe for some of that Legacy Helper stuff, send it to him in Texas…ASAP and COD!  He needs it.


So, for now…back off some.  Things are going to change in America quick enough. So, quitcher damn bitchin' about George Bush Jr.!  It could be a whole lot worse! I can prove it can be lots worse in just three special words. Those three words are: President Dick Cheney!


So, as the hip-hoppers say: just chill a mo!  And please, get off my President's back, because we Americans have got his pink slip ready!


Peace out!


I'm Lue Deck, The Comic in Red Shoes, and I approved this message.

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