Lunatics at The UN
This article belongs to In Search of Laughs! column.
When England's Prime Minister
returned from his meeting with Hitler, Chamberlain waved a signed truce paper
and declared to all: He had achieved "Peace in our times!…" Poor Neville had not. And, since The League of
Nations died its hapless death, World War Two started forthwith!
Recognizing that failure
might have been the death of appeasement as a diplomatic tactic. It was
not! As often as three times a month, in
United Nations diplomats serve it up for
lunch. They serve appeasement to every damn dictator who shows up and wants to
play in The UN's silly little game. Good, the gambit still works.
Oh, we've had your Pol Pots and
Pinochets and Milosevics whom were too scared to come to The Big Apple. Never mind immunity, most of these
generalissimos actually suspected the Americans would grab them, to be held
accountable. But The UN doesn't work
that way, even if certain dictators won't believe it.
authorities might, if Kim were to come to speak at The UN, bag him. Just for the fun of it!
But, there are dictators who do
believe The UN will vouch safe for their transit and stay. These despicable despots come to The UN to strut
and crow for various reasons. The world has seen many of these types come and
go. Remember when Nikita K. pounded his
desk with his shoe and wanted to bury
bit? He'll be gone soon too! Remember when General Colin Powell claimed
evidence of WMD's? Well, maybe it would be better for all concerned, if we didn't
remember that one.
Last week in
anyone is Ground Zero for 911; we had several Heads of State visit and address
The General Assembly. There were many, but I want to focus on just three of
them: two crackpots, and a cowboy. These
people were not some characters in a situation comedy on NBC, but they really
The cowboy, in effected
importance, said "Blah-blah-blah-yada-yada!" The first crackpot blowing
1.8 on the dictator-alyzer, pounded, did the revolutionary bit, wanted to bury
us, and probably lied about WMDs. The
second crackpot said it smelled like the Devil had been there. Now, who says
The United Nations isn't a Comedy Club?
OK, maybe a Comedy Club on the "C" circuit.
The second crackpot also claimed
that the cowboy was an ex-alcoholic, and the cowboy had a lot of
"complexes". These salacious
items are old news to most veteran presidential observers. Next, this second
crackpot, after incorrectly claiming the wacky author was dead, plugged Noam Chomsky's
book, which then soared to the top of Amazon dot com's latest list. Then this Venezualan numb
nuts chastised the Americans that seeing the "Superman & Batman"
movies makes us stupid.
Well, Americans don't need
anyone to tell us WHY we're stupid, much less blame it on just one cause. Stupidity is one of
it's caused by more than movies. Just
who does this dictator think he is? Coming in here and telling the truth like
that? The UN doesn't need that, and
help, thank you very much! Just ask
Congressman Charlie Rengel!
In the back rooms of career
diplomats, sly looks are exchanged. Varied menus of appeasement are planned for
when they will be needed. Fried appeasement, baked appeasment, frozen
appeasment, appeasement tartar, really any kind of appeasement that The UN can
get those dictators to eat! Some who are
in the know, are aware that sometimes, not often, but sometimes, doing nothing
is the only right thing to do.
Welcome to the friendly confines
of the world's biggest asylum! Geez, here at The UN, you can't even swing a
dead cat without hitting a lunatic. That's what the whole damn place is for.
Love one another, and find peace
for our world!
I'm Lue Deck, The Comic in Red
and I approved this message.
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