Lunatics at The UN

Article by
The Comic in Red Shoes
In Search of Laughs!

When England’s Prime Minister returned from his meeting with Hitler, Chamberlain waved a signed truce paper and declared to all: He had achieved “Peace in our times!…” Poor Neville had not. And, since The League of Nations died its hapless death, World War Two started forthwith!

Recognizing that failure might have been the death of appeasement as a diplomatic tactic. It was not! As often as three times a month, in New York, United Nations diplomats serve it up for lunch. They serve appeasement to every damn dictator who shows up and wants to play in The UN’s silly little game. Good, the gambit still works.

Oh, we’ve had your Pol Pots and Pinochets and Milosevics whom were too scared to come to The Big Apple. Never mind immunity, most of these generalissimos actually suspected the Americans would grab them, to be held accountable. But The UN doesn’t work that way, even if certain dictators won’t believe it.

Warning to North Korea's leader: The authorities might, if Kim were to come to speak at The UN, bag him. Just for the fun of it!

But, there are dictators who do believe The UN will vouch safe for their transit and stay. These despicable despots come to The UN to strut and crow for various reasons. The world has seen many of these types come and go. Remember when Nikita K. pounded his Russia desk with his shoe and wanted to bury America. He’s gone now. Remember when Castro did the revolutionary bit? He’ll be gone soon too! Remember when General Colin Powell claimed evidence of WMD’s? Well, maybe it would be better for all concerned, if we didn’t remember that one.

Last week in New York City, which I don’t need to remind anyone is Ground Zero for 911; we had several Heads of State visit and address The General Assembly. There were many, but I want to focus on just three of them: two crackpots, and a cowboy. These people were not some characters in a situation comedy on NBC, but they really could be.

The cowboy, in effected importance, said “Blah-blah-blah-yada-yada!” The first crackpot blowing 1.8 on the dictator-alyzer, pounded, did the revolutionary bit, wanted to bury us, and probably lied about WMDs. The second crackpot said it smelled like the Devil had been there. Now, who says The United Nations isn’t a Comedy Club? OK, maybe a Comedy Club on the “C” circuit.

The second crackpot also claimed that the cowboy was an ex-alcoholic, and the cowboy had a lot of "complexes". These salacious items are old news to most veteran presidential observers. Next, this second crackpot, after incorrectly claiming the wacky author was dead, plugged Noam Chomsky's book, which then soared to the top of Amazon dot com's latest list. Then this Venezualan numb nuts chastised the Americans that seeing the "Superman & Batman" movies makes us stupid.

Well, Americans don't need anyone to tell us WHY we're stupid, much less blame it on just one cause. Stupidity is one of America's greatest products, and it's caused by more than movies. Just who does this dictator think he is? Coming in here and telling the truth like that? The UN doesn't need that, and neither does America. We got to be this stupid on our own, without their help, thank you very much! Just ask Congressman Charlie Rengel!

In the back rooms of career diplomats, sly looks are exchanged. Varied menus of appeasement are planned for when they will be needed. Fried appeasement, baked appeasment, frozen appeasment, appeasement tartar, really any kind of appeasement that The UN can get those dictators to eat! Some who are in the know, are aware that sometimes, not often, but sometimes, doing nothing is the only right thing to do.

Welcome to the friendly confines of the world's biggest asylum! Geez, here at The UN, you can't even swing a dead cat without hitting a lunatic. That's what the whole damn place is for. Lunatics!

So, don't get upset when you hear about another ruckus over at The UN. Even if they get a visit from a couple of crackpots and a cowboy! We'll all get over it soon enough.

Love one another, and find peace for our world!
I'm Lue Deck, The Comic in Red Shoes,
and I approved this message.



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Cale says on 2006-10-17 13:54:04 about The UN
Diplomacy is better than war, arguing is better than invading, and reason is far preferable to the lust for bloodshed! Not that it will help!









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Lue Deck
Published The History of The Comedy Store-1988

Holds World's record for performing stand-up in 1000 cities in 10 years! listen to live shows: luedeck.us resume: luedeck.biz Does anybody know where I can find some size 13 Red Shoes?



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