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Poor Lue’s Almanack 09/06

 article about Poor Lue’s Almanack 09/06

This article belongs to In Search of Laughs! column.







As 2006 ebbs into it's fourth quarter, its time for a
Hail Mary!

Or maybe a Bloody Mary. Hang on tightly, 2007 is coming
fast!

Here's some of my recent thoughts about this crazy world:







President Bush reveals his new slogan: E Pluribus Me! Roughly translated as" Out of many, ME! "













Israel
gives Hezbollah the combat version of a head-butt!

Trying to make amends, Mel Gibson has offered to personally go kick some Hezbollah ass!








Maybe we got it all wrong, maybe it wasn't God's chosen People…it was God's frozen People!








Lebanon's
President and head of Hezbollah have refused to go on that hunting trip with Dick Cheney!








The NRA gets a new logo!
It's a silouette of Dick Cheney…holding his favorite shotgun...posing with that lawyer!








Turns out, North Korean dictator Kim Jong IL actually got married to the angry, anorexic Ann Coulter!








Swartzenegger for The U.S. Senate! I've seen a lot of speeches from the Senate floor I couldn't understand, so Arnold will fit right in!










Voicing one's personal political views mays have disasterous
results on one's show-biz career!
Just ask The Dixie Chicks, or The Joe Liberman Dancers!










A new CIA experiment may make things invisible! So far, the most recent successful test projects have been Arsenio
Hall, Lance Bass, and Star Jones!






Cancer charges against the makers of Teflon just won't
stick!








I lost my ID card.
The police called me, told me they had it, and asked me why, yesterday, I crossed at the Tijuana border 312 times!








I got a speeding ticket on the Information Highway! Yeah, and it was a GUI…that's Googling Under the Influence!








My next door neighbor says that his bipolar therapy alliance is turning out to be a very moody bunch!






The founder of Hooters dies at 69.....and he was 69 years
old, too!








Pamela Anderson marries Kid Rock! What a waste of two
great careers! And I really
don't care what happens to Kid Rock!








Turns out, women's brains shut down during orgasm!

Lucky, or they wouldn't have any use for us men at all!












What with all the physical changes going on in his body:
steroidal

rages, weight gain, facial puffiness, etc. its about time to
reveal that

Barry Bonds has cork in his bat! And I'm not talking about what

he hits baseballs with!










1st Corrinthians: "...God chose the foolish to shame
the wise..."

In America,
you can't swing a dead cat without hitting some

foolish people, or becoming one! Keep your ears loose....








I'm Lue Deck, The Comic in Red Shoes,

and I approved this message.



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