How To Stop The War in 5 Hard Steps (A Preemptive Peace Attack!)
This article belongs to In Search of Laughs! column.
(If you want peace, read on. If you don't want peace, then go away…Or go invade something…or go bomb somebody…just don't read this.)If the doctrine of preemptive attack works in war, then maybe that same doctrine will work for peace! All those in favor of peace… ATTACK!
As kindling for this thesis, right up front, I do categorically proclaim: THOSE WHO WANT PEACE in our world…LET'S ROLL!
America is a peace-loving nation. And we'll kill anybody and everybody Who disagrees! Ben Franklin said, "There never was a good war, or a bad peace!" I agree with him. People do work incredibly hard to get ready for war, so I assume we will have to work even harder to get to peace.
But, we'll have to go to peace with the army we have! Working for, and getting peace…is a hard job, real hard! (Only real hard workers and/or the foolhardy need apply for this difficult job)
Petition our elected representatives to renew the clause "ONLY Congress has the power to declare war." (Point out our Congress has NOT declared war! Then, empowered by Our Constitution, control the national purse strings, and put an injunction on both of the Presidential and Vice Presidential paychecks.)
Trillions of dollars for our defense, NONE for regime change! (Unless it's for right here in
Prohibit gasoline sales over $2 per gallon. (This is sure to make the Corporate world crazy and cement our Peace constituency bases.)
Conduct a national campaign against all elected officials who have supported the war! (Get Ralph Nader to head our effort, because
nobody does shame any better than Ralph Nader does shame! Rap Artists can and will supply the violence, if any is needed.)
Enlist cultural icons to join our fight! (Musical stars like Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young resisted the war in
Winston Churchill once said: "You should never criticize your country when abroad, and never cease when at home!" I take old Winnie's advice to heart. My call to action here is meant to make
This is my solemn conclusion: The only sure-fire way to doom a democracy is to try to shove democracy down somebody else's throat! (OK, it worked in
I am Lue Deck, The Comic in Red Shoes,
And I approved this message
Peace out! Double true!
more in Cheers
We met on a cruise ship. No names please, but the ship was with a cruise line that rhymes with " Parnival! "
John Donne said: “No man is an island, entire of itself…any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind…”
I tried to ramp up for this list. Sadly, it wasn’t too much of a stretch. Most men might agree with me, but not out loud.
(Take time to smell the flowers, before we're drenched by May showers. Here's some ephemera from the stream of conciousness that will always represent our America. Keep your ears loose...Lue)
Has anyone had any green alien sex? William Shatner claims he hasn’t, even though we have all seen him on Star Trek doing that thing. My buddy George here claims the same, he says that it was nothing but a grown up dog. Well, when he told me that I secretly wished it would have been an alien, at least it would sound sexy not like throw-up-if-ya-want. I did, and explained it with something I had eaten the week before.