Bonds gets his own reality show, too. I have no interest in even seeing
a flip-through of it, but what are they going to show? The whole world
is onto this guy and all we want to know about is his juicing. All he
wants to do is avoid the subject. There's no reason to watch if he
isn't going to let us see his 'secrets'.....When Barry went in drag as
Paula Abdul during Spring Training, he looked more like a microwaved
Chyna.....I have no secret admiration for the guy, but seeing some
inbred spectator throw a syringe at Bonds in San Diego is way out of
line. Too bad they didn't catch this 'load that should have been shot
into Kleenex.'

Vince Young was rumored to have dropped on some draft boards because he
did badly on the Wunderlik test. This guy has talent, though it may be
raw. And results on that shouldn't have a big impact on his career
unless he ends up playing on Brokeback Mountain.....This year's NFL
Draft is being held at Radio City Music Hall. After Mike Tannenbaum and
Eric Mangini blow their first draft, the boo-birds wearing the green
and white can serenade them acapela style.

bad to worse: Knicks Head Coach Larry Brown not only had to see his
team spanked again after another night of 'taking the night off'
defense at Orlando, but he also had to watch his old whipping bitch,
Darko Milicic, have a good game.

Great One tells us that he had no idea that the missus was out there
burining up lettuce on anything with odds. He also says that his pal
and assistant coach did all of his gambling stuff on the QT. For a guy
that always seemed bright, he wants us to think that he's as dumb as a
box of rocks now. Sorry, Waynie. It doesn't work that way.

Cubbie fans. Before they can even prepare themselves for the annual
letdown, 'ol Peanut Brittle arms Kerry Wood and Mark Prior land on the
DL.....Would the $119 million dollar man Carlo Beltran crack a smile if
'My Favorite MILF' Sharon Stone gave him her famous ' Basic Instinct'
flash? The Shea Stadium boo-birds make this guy look like he just lost
his dog. Hey, Carlos. Production equals cheers. O- for- 4's equal
jeers.....To get everyone's mind off all the BALCO stuff, baseball
needs an appearance from Ms. Double Bubble- Morgana the Kissing
Bandit.....I don't even know if that lady is still around. If she is,
by now her nipples are hanging down by her kneecaps.

CALL: Here's to Bob Sheppard, who unfortunately had to miss his first
Yankee game as the Public Address announcer in over a half a century.
Hope that hip heals up quick, Bob. Get back in that booth and in front
of the microphone where you belong! The best of the best!