2006-07-21

Alright guys and gals switching gears a bit this week. I want to talk about healthy relationships.


There are three keys to having a healthy relationship



  • Knowing yourself
  • Having a values system
  • Communication

Communication is defined as a process that involves specific skills for expressing ideas effectively. One must be able to communicate and transmit information, thoughts, and feelings to other people in an effective manner.


There are many benefits of effective communication



  1. Increased understanding
  2. Reduces frustration and improves stress management
  3. Helps problem solving
  4. Increases health supportive environments

These are the top 10 communication related skills desired by Fortune 500 CEO?s


1.      Teamwork


2.      Problem solving


3.      Organizational skills


4.      Oral communication


5.      Listening


6.      Personal development


7.      Creative thinking


8.      Leadership


9.      Motivation


10.  Writing Skills


Even though the former is geared to the workplace there are still some skills within this list that anyone can utilize to build a better communication structure within their own lives. I mean look at making your spouse a list to take to the store. If you want them to pick up grade A large eggs then put it down on the list, just don?t put down eggs or they are likely to pick up whatever eggs they feel like picking up.


Giving good directions can fall into the oral communication and listening categories as you may have a friend who is coming from a different state and not know your neighborhood so you have to make sure that you be detailed in your directions and need to make sure they understand by asking them to repeat it back to you so you know they were listening.


There are many formulas that can be taken into account within your personal life that you can apply without being in the workplace. You want to be able to build reliability in all areas of your life.


When communicating with someone learn to use the EARS formula


E- Encourage


A-Acknowledge the speaker


R-Respond to the speaker


S-Slow down


There are of course barriers to listening which is pseudo listening where you pretend to listen to someone and selective listening where you only hear what you want to hear. Boy I can write a book on this. I don?t know how many times in my life where I have been involved with someone who listens to what they want to hear from the conversation and then they are done and start to tune you out. That is major aggravating. Common elements of good relationships should include communication, physical elements, responsibility to oneself and others, trustworthiness, and loyalty. Above all respect for the other person is the cornerstone of clear communication.


You must not stay in a relationship where you?re being made to feel frustrated, beat down, and mistrust the person your involved with. That is not a healthy relationship and you should never allow yourself to tolerate being in that situation.