2013-07-04
About the author: Tim Barnes is a massive South Park fan. After completing an NLP course a few years ago, he now enjoys analysing the personalities of his favourite fictional characters and spotting similarities to himself, his friends and his family.



Those foul-mouthed little rascals at South Park Elementary have been with us since 1997. So why do we love them so much? Apart from the 'did-they-just-go-there?' comedy and consistently satirical storylines, there's an element of familiarity in a gang of savvy kiddos trying to make sense of a (very) adult world. We all know a Cartman or a hapless Kenny and we always cheer for Stan and Kyle's best buddy Bromance.

Everyone has one friend with a weird Mom like Cartman's and Randy is the epitome of embarrassing dad antics. It's kind of cool that you can pretty much take anybody you know and they'll be a South Park character in some way, shape or form. So which one are you?

Are you jittery, nervous and full of energy? Do you annoy everyone with your awfulising and is it hard for you to just sit still? If you can't put down the coffee and are always on the go but never chill out, consider yourself Tweak.

Are you always changing your mind and can't decide what to wear from one minute to the next? Do friends call you a diva but envy your secret weekend life? If your image is everything and you like to be in charge of the party, you're Mr Garrison.

If you're game for anything and find your nose more often than not in other people's affairs, its only because you love being ‘one of the guys.' You might be in trouble with your other half once in a while but you're pretty likeable all the same. No one can accuse you of shirking a challenge or new adventure. You're Stan's dad, Randy.

If you're best friends with everyone and always save the day, but aren't so sure of yourself, never fear. You're the ‘normal' in the group and mean well most of the time. Keep trying to do the right thing and learn something. If this rings a bell, you're Stan.
You get pretty good grades and still stay street-smart. You can always spot a wrong turn before it happens and are more often than not the voice of reason against the odds. A little hot headed sometimes, but quick to make good buddies again, you're Kyle.

Sweet and simple, you want to please everybody and somehow it just doesn't work out. Often putting your foot in it by mistake, it doesn't mean you don't really, really try. You're trusting, kind and often easily persuaded, don't let others take advantage of your good nature. Sound familiar? You're Butters (awww).

People like you and you're always in the middle of things. You don't care for material goods and are proud of who you are. You stand up for yourself but occasionally this goes unnoticed. You have pretty bad luck sometimes but your buddies know who you are and what you are trying to say. You're totally Kenny.

Loud, proud and totally comfortable in the spotlight. You get what you want and you don't care who knows it. You're like Marmite, loved and hated in equal measures and you definitely take stick from nobody. Quick witted and always ahead of the game, some call you ruthless. Others call you downright hilarious. You're the one and only Cartman.