Prom Survival Tips
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By Michael Jae, Talk show host






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    Get a limo with white seats

    Now remember, all that Barry White may get her in the mood as soon as you get back to the limo. You need to get a limo for prom, OK? She might want to do the nasty or maybe even one of those teachers we talked about earlier. You may have an accident and it will blend in with white seats better than black. If you spooge on the black seats, the limo driver will want your balls on a plate. Prevent this by asking for a white limo. Think about this, a married couple might use the limo you got your knob polished in. Then they will be sitting in the load you let release during Prom Night.

    Find a nice place to go to afterwards

    Once again, if you give a woman all the attention, you’ll get special attention. Fuck going to a party. You can go to a party anytime. The Prom is really special for the girls and most of them lose their virginity on this night. Do you really think she wants you to pop her cherry in a room that sounds like a frat house? That is just so disrespectful. Unless she is a freak like that and wants to play a game of finger cuffs with you and a buddy or a girlfriend.

    Use protection!!!!

    This is very important!!!! USE A CONDOM!!!! You never know who the girl has been with, no matter what she says. She may say she is on the pill, but use one anyway. She could have sucked of the whole football team and caught Syphilis. Girls, insist that your man use one for the same reason. Your date could be the guy that hit it with the girl who had many touchdowns with the football team. Also, no one wants a little one to spoil his or her prom night. Save that shit for marriage.

    And most important, have fun

    Prom is a night to have fun and remember. Just be safe. However there is one thing you can do to avoid all this craziness. DON’T GO TO THE PROM. In my opinion, proms are stupid and I am blessed to have a girlfriend who felt the same way. Who wants to hang out with a bunch of people you can’t stand anyway? If there is a final farewell, you do it on a different night. Forget the Prom. Besides, making a woman feel special is something that should be done without having a three-ring circus like your high school prom. And to whoever wins that Prom King and Queen bullshit, will this put food on your plate when you get all old and shit? Does it look good on your resume? Or is it just a self-esteem stroke job to make yourself feel good that you are the guy and girl people play with themselves over? Thanks.

    This is satire ladies and gentleman. Michael Jae will not be responsible for anyone who is stupid enough to try this shit. Have a wonderful day.

    MJ


    I am not the romantic expert, but if you treat a woman like she is the only person on a night like this, the possibilities are endless regarding what can happen, that is unless you find the school whore. Then forget everything I just said.

    AUTHOR: Michael Jae

    TAGS: Entertainment                           

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